Anouck
Anouck stood there staring at Onyx with his eyebrows pulled together, and he knew that what he was about to say won't please her. He gave it a second thought about the whole thing, considering telling a white lie, but he threw the idea away as he looked at her face.
He had known much more about Melchiorre than he cared for. They had been mates for a while in Hell-Blossom, they trained together, and they told each other some things of the past.
One think he knew for sure: Melchiorre didn't love Onyx one bit. Never. He wanted to use her to claim a title.
But what he couldn't predict was the reaction of the Fairy King. He thought that the King wouldn't care, but he did. It was Melchiorre, who leaked the information about the two of them.
But Anouck decided to skip that part.
The truth was that when Melchiorre arrived at Hell-Blossom, his beauty mesmerized one of the female members of the Depth-Consilium, and she took him as a lover. Of course, he took the offer, again, using his looks to get out from the situation.
Anouck started to get enough of Melchiorre by then, and he was angry with him for being such a lip-deep person. Also, he had heard that the bastard princess, Onyx had escaped from the Fairy Kingdom to find Melchiorre, and ended up in the Dungeons of Hell-Blossom. Anouck was a respected person in the palace as a warrior, so he was allowed to walk around freely. Back then, he didn't really mind that he was kept as a captive on paper, he was still free in his own way, and he was famous, and beloved by most people, who watched the postaquams. He went down to the dungeons to see who this princess was. Since Anouck came from the Marinis (Ocean Kingdom) he didn't know much about fairies.
When he got to Onyx's cell, he saw a broken girl. No more than a little girl, covered with scars, old and new... He thought that it cannot be a princess. But then, when she looked up at him, he could see that there was a great amount of hope behind her bright eyes.
She asked him if he knew Melchiorre. He said no, without thinking for a second.
That was a part that Anouck didn't want to share with the girl either.
Two days later, the attendants of the next postaquam were announced. It was him and Melchiorre. Anouck was praying for this moment to come. He knew that the Depth-Consilium member, who was the sweetheart of Melchiorre would be raging if Melchiorre would die, but there was no way he could let him walk out of the Arena alive.
He had seen enough of the things Melchiorre had done. He had seen that he managed to keep up the hopes of a naive girl, while he tried to beguile a consilium member to give him his freedom. He was a disgusting creation of life. It made Anouck sick. Their friendship meant nothing by then.
So when the doors opened, he didn't think twice, and killed the boy on the spot. Just then, he realized that there was a podium set up, with the scarred little princess all tied up. She was sobbing, and tried to struggle herself free.
When he looked at her, he had seen the hope dying in her eyes, and realized that it wasn't Melchiorre, who truly hurt her at the end. Anouck wanted to protect her from the monster, who had trapped her heart.
Why, he couldn't tell.
However, that wasn't something Anouck could fully explain to Onyx either.
After that postaquam, Anouck was thrown into the Dungeons, and eventually the consilium decided that he shall be a slave in Hell-Blossom, but what's worse, the woman, who had been spending some night with Melchiorre told him that since he had killed her concubine, he should take his place. Also, she began calling him by Melchiorre.
Anouck didn't look like the Fairy at all, so he couldn't understand.
But eventually every noble called him by the dead fairy's name, which irritated him more than he could express.
There were all these things he wanted to tell Onyx, but at the same time, he knew that the girl wouldn't understand.
"Yes, I killed Melchiorre." - He said, as a matter of fact.
"You took his name." - She said, like she knew everything, which, she clearly didn't. It pained Anouck that he has to be the one, who shares the truth about Melchiorre. But what else could he do?
"Wasn't my doing. It was a name that I was given, which I hated." - Anouck confessed. Onyx looked at him with searching eyes. - "You have been a postaquam attendant yourself, you know how it goes: we are told, and there is no arguing about the decision: it's final."
"Why are you even here? You must have known that I wanted to kill you, so why?" - Anouck bit his lip. He didn't know how to express it.
"I've seen you fighting."
"So?" - Onyx started to loose her patience, and Anouck felt that he was running out of time.
"I have seen you fighting, and I just..." - he couldn't explain the way he felt.
"You just what? Thought I was pretty? Figured out that I was a princess? Thought I would forgive you, and then we would live happily ever after?" - The mock in her voice was bitter and sharp.
"No, of course not." - Anouck took a deep breath, because he knew that unless he tells her the truth, Onyx would always hate him. - "I knew Melchiorre more than you would imagine. He told me all sorts of things about you... for example that you were naive, and that you would do anything he says... I didn't listen to him, thinking that a half fairy, half full-fledged would never act that innocent. Melchiorre was a lover of a noble woman in Hell-Blossom, but he used her, hoping that she would set him free. He told me it almost worked with you, that if he could just get you bear his child, he would have gotten a title. I disliked his ways, to be honest. I never thought that you had no idea.
Then, I saw you in the dungeons, and immediately you asked me about him. You hoped that he would come, and you thought he really loved you. You looked so innocent, and with your scars all over your body, I felt like you were just a poor girl, not the princess. But you were that princess, even with the scars, and the false hopes. That's when I grow to hate Melchiorre. I am not the most honorable man in this world, I have done some pretty bad things myself... but what he did disgusted me.
I killed him, because I felt like if I do, I serve justice to everyone he had used. Then, when I looked at you, I saw pain, not relief. I wanted to save you from the whole thing... there weren't that much other options for me to do so, at least not that I knew of."
"Shut up." - Onyx whispered. Tears were rolling down on her cheeks, and she was shaking. She wiped off the tears, but she was pale.
"I didn't meant to hurt you. And it wasn't my choice to take his name, it wasn't my choice to take his place as a concubine at that demonic woman... Killing him ruined my life, but I didn't regret it. Because if I wouldn't have killed him, he would have ruined many more lives, than just mine." - Anouck grew angry at the memory.
"Just shut the fuck up!" - Onyx screamed. - "You didn't know Melchiorre like I did. He wouldn't do that..." - While she spoke, she was shaking even more. It was visible that even though she said it now, she believed Anouck, and knew that he was telling the truth, she just didn't want to face it. She pulled the coat closer, like she was cold, but Anouck knew that she was just trying to ease the heart ache in her chest. Anouck took a step closer, but Onyx took a step back as well.
She was sobbing silently. - "Did he told you that I loved him?" - She asked in a shaky voice.
"Yes."
"Did he tell you that he only wanted the title?" - Onyx wasn't shaking anymore, but the tears were still rolling down on her cheeks.
"Yes."
"What else did he say?"
"He said many things, I can't really recall."
"Liar. You just don't want me to be hurt even more." - Onyx wiped off her tears, and looked at Anouck with a serious expression. - "I know that you saw me as a little girl then, but you also saw me fighting. You know I am not weak. I wanna know the truth."
"I have seen you fighting, and I just..." - he couldn't explain the way he felt.
"You just what? Thought I was pretty? Figured out that I was a princess? Thought I would forgive you, and then we would live happily ever after?" - The mock in her voice was bitter and sharp.
"No, of course not." - Anouck took a deep breath, because he knew that unless he tells her the truth, Onyx would always hate him. - "I knew Melchiorre more than you would imagine. He told me all sorts of things about you... for example that you were naive, and that you would do anything he says... I didn't listen to him, thinking that a half fairy, half full-fledged would never act that innocent. Melchiorre was a lover of a noble woman in Hell-Blossom, but he used her, hoping that she would set him free. He told me it almost worked with you, that if he could just get you bear his child, he would have gotten a title. I disliked his ways, to be honest. I never thought that you had no idea.
Then, I saw you in the dungeons, and immediately you asked me about him. You hoped that he would come, and you thought he really loved you. You looked so innocent, and with your scars all over your body, I felt like you were just a poor girl, not the princess. But you were that princess, even with the scars, and the false hopes. That's when I grow to hate Melchiorre. I am not the most honorable man in this world, I have done some pretty bad things myself... but what he did disgusted me.
I killed him, because I felt like if I do, I serve justice to everyone he had used. Then, when I looked at you, I saw pain, not relief. I wanted to save you from the whole thing... there weren't that much other options for me to do so, at least not that I knew of."
"I didn't meant to hurt you. And it wasn't my choice to take his name, it wasn't my choice to take his place as a concubine at that demonic woman... Killing him ruined my life, but I didn't regret it. Because if I wouldn't have killed him, he would have ruined many more lives, than just mine." - Anouck grew angry at the memory.
"Just shut the fuck up!" - Onyx screamed. - "You didn't know Melchiorre like I did. He wouldn't do that..." - While she spoke, she was shaking even more. It was visible that even though she said it now, she believed Anouck, and knew that he was telling the truth, she just didn't want to face it. She pulled the coat closer, like she was cold, but Anouck knew that she was just trying to ease the heart ache in her chest. Anouck took a step closer, but Onyx took a step back as well.
She was sobbing silently. - "Did he told you that I loved him?" - She asked in a shaky voice.
"Yes."
"Did he tell you that he only wanted the title?" - Onyx wasn't shaking anymore, but the tears were still rolling down on her cheeks.
"Yes."
"What else did he say?"
"He said many things, I can't really recall."
"Liar. You just don't want me to be hurt even more." - Onyx wiped off her tears, and looked at Anouck with a serious expression. - "I know that you saw me as a little girl then, but you also saw me fighting. You know I am not weak. I wanna know the truth."
Spirit
Haniel stood there, dumbfound. I looked at him with tears rolling down on my cheeks.
"I am not the person people think I am." - My voice was shaking, but I tried to get myself together. I couldn't look so weak; after all, I was still the Nephilim Princess.
"You lied to every one of us." - Haniel looked betrayed.
"I have never said I knew what I knew what I was doing!" - I couldn't believe he accused me of lying. That was so absurd. - "I spent a long time in the dungeons all tied up, because I was on the edge. I was going insane, which I still feel like I am. Back then, did you think I was powerful?! No, you probably felt sorry for me. Well guess what? I still feel that way, only my sister is either became a full fledged demon, or a monster, and I can't feel her anymore. I don't know if I should be thankful for that, or collapse on the floor, screaming, because I failed her!" - The truth came out, just like that. I didn't know Haniel that much to be honest, but these things had been building up inside of me.
"I didn't feel sorry for you. We all knew that you are going through the same torture as your sister, and we hoped that you would find a way to get back to us. I didn't know what it was like, because I was still in Hell-Blossom at the time, I only heard what had happened." - The wolf jumped up on the bench beside me, and put its face on my shoulder. - "Spirit, you are not weak. Most of the people would be afraid of their own shadow if they would experience a torture like that. But you stood up just days after it had finished. You talked to people, you remembered everything, you walked around. We all saw that inside, something broke, but you took it all, like a real warrior."
"I have a goal, and if I wouldn't have one, I would be still down in the dungeons, screaming. I have to find Iris, no matter what she is like. I have the knowledge of my ancestors, and I have this library to my use, so I will find her." - I said. As soon as the words left my lips, I realized that's not all. - "And Rider too."
"Rider is dead." - Haniel said.
"Not fully. I know he is here somewhere, still." - Haniel looked at me with weird eyes. I stood up, and dropped the blanket on the bench beside the wolf. I spread my arms out wide, closed my eyes, and dropped my head back. I whispered salvo which was a release spell, and let the power out from the little cage inside me. The arms spread from my inner cores. They touched Haniel, and through that touch I could see him.
It is hard to explain how I saw Haniel, while my eyes were shut. The arms wrapped around his body, felt every inch of it, and made a picture for me based on what they felt. Of couse, I didn't see colors, just an outline.
"Applicitus." - I whispered. It was a spell that called back the power into my inner cage, where I shut it. I lowered my arms, and slowly opened my eyes. The scent of Rider's cologne filled my nose, like he was standing right beside me. But I knew that he wasn't. I looked at Haniel, who stared at me with eyes wide open. - "Just like in Joel's case, I possess a shard of the soul. In this case, not his spirit, like I did with Joel, but his power. I know it is harder that way to find the gate between body and power, than to find it between spirit and body. But I will find the way."
"You do realize that this is unnatural to possess part of people's soul." - He said.
"Honestly, I really don't know what counts natural anymore." - When I said that, a memory came to me, when Remiel said that I was part of the supernatural weirdos. I was a freak among the freaks, but that didn't matter anymore.
Something inside me made me feel like that was a good thing... that I can use it as an advantage. Haniel, Onyx, and Anouck... and many other people believed that I was powerful, and I was just too afraid of the meaning of their beliefs. But now that I think about it, my main goal should really be learning how to gain the memories I want, and shut out everything else.
But I had so little time. What if by the time I gain control, they kill Iris, or it would be too late to bring Rider back? Did I have a choice?
People always have a choice - for the first time in a long time, I heard Joel inside of my head. We communicated through thoughts for the first time about Lilith, when we couldn't say out loud the words.
Nice to hear you again. - I felt a smile come across my lips. Probably, it looked super weird to Haniel, but right now, I couldn't give a damn.
Yeah, I am not really that well... The truth is, your blood started something in my system, and the doctors and healers don't know what to do. Seems like it's always new, when it comes to you. - I could feel him smirk.
To be honest, I don't know if I can heal you. I will try to find something in my books, but I can't promise anything. - I answered through thoughts.
Fuck the books, you never used them when you were in trouble, and you always got out. For example, I heard that you almost killed Michael at the Postaquam, and you didn't need a book to know what happens if you tear yourself away from me back in Seattle. - He was right but healing was a whole another level. And for the change, I would have liked to know what I was doing.
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I sighed, and gathered the books I have picked at sunset that day.
"Let's head back to the main building." - I said. The wolf jumped beside me, like it was ready to follow me. - "Maybe you're right, and I have to learn how people see me. I'll try to live up to the expectations."
I could see on Haniel's face, that he still had something to say, but I just couldn't bring myself to listen. He didn't know what it was like to be a soul whisperer. It was like being a fricking avatar, but worse.
I hugged my books tightly, as we walked in the dark. I felt uneasy by the fact that I cannot really see... maybe the tortures really did leave a mark on me.
"You lied to every one of us." - Haniel looked betrayed.
"I have never said I knew what I knew what I was doing!" - I couldn't believe he accused me of lying. That was so absurd. - "I spent a long time in the dungeons all tied up, because I was on the edge. I was going insane, which I still feel like I am. Back then, did you think I was powerful?! No, you probably felt sorry for me. Well guess what? I still feel that way, only my sister is either became a full fledged demon, or a monster, and I can't feel her anymore. I don't know if I should be thankful for that, or collapse on the floor, screaming, because I failed her!" - The truth came out, just like that. I didn't know Haniel that much to be honest, but these things had been building up inside of me.
"I didn't feel sorry for you. We all knew that you are going through the same torture as your sister, and we hoped that you would find a way to get back to us. I didn't know what it was like, because I was still in Hell-Blossom at the time, I only heard what had happened." - The wolf jumped up on the bench beside me, and put its face on my shoulder. - "Spirit, you are not weak. Most of the people would be afraid of their own shadow if they would experience a torture like that. But you stood up just days after it had finished. You talked to people, you remembered everything, you walked around. We all saw that inside, something broke, but you took it all, like a real warrior."
"I have a goal, and if I wouldn't have one, I would be still down in the dungeons, screaming. I have to find Iris, no matter what she is like. I have the knowledge of my ancestors, and I have this library to my use, so I will find her." - I said. As soon as the words left my lips, I realized that's not all. - "And Rider too."
"Rider is dead." - Haniel said.
"Not fully. I know he is here somewhere, still." - Haniel looked at me with weird eyes. I stood up, and dropped the blanket on the bench beside the wolf. I spread my arms out wide, closed my eyes, and dropped my head back. I whispered salvo which was a release spell, and let the power out from the little cage inside me. The arms spread from my inner cores. They touched Haniel, and through that touch I could see him.
It is hard to explain how I saw Haniel, while my eyes were shut. The arms wrapped around his body, felt every inch of it, and made a picture for me based on what they felt. Of couse, I didn't see colors, just an outline.
"Applicitus." - I whispered. It was a spell that called back the power into my inner cage, where I shut it. I lowered my arms, and slowly opened my eyes. The scent of Rider's cologne filled my nose, like he was standing right beside me. But I knew that he wasn't. I looked at Haniel, who stared at me with eyes wide open. - "Just like in Joel's case, I possess a shard of the soul. In this case, not his spirit, like I did with Joel, but his power. I know it is harder that way to find the gate between body and power, than to find it between spirit and body. But I will find the way."
"You do realize that this is unnatural to possess part of people's soul." - He said.
"Honestly, I really don't know what counts natural anymore." - When I said that, a memory came to me, when Remiel said that I was part of the supernatural weirdos. I was a freak among the freaks, but that didn't matter anymore.
Something inside me made me feel like that was a good thing... that I can use it as an advantage. Haniel, Onyx, and Anouck... and many other people believed that I was powerful, and I was just too afraid of the meaning of their beliefs. But now that I think about it, my main goal should really be learning how to gain the memories I want, and shut out everything else.
But I had so little time. What if by the time I gain control, they kill Iris, or it would be too late to bring Rider back? Did I have a choice?
People always have a choice - for the first time in a long time, I heard Joel inside of my head. We communicated through thoughts for the first time about Lilith, when we couldn't say out loud the words.
Nice to hear you again. - I felt a smile come across my lips. Probably, it looked super weird to Haniel, but right now, I couldn't give a damn.
Yeah, I am not really that well... The truth is, your blood started something in my system, and the doctors and healers don't know what to do. Seems like it's always new, when it comes to you. - I could feel him smirk.
To be honest, I don't know if I can heal you. I will try to find something in my books, but I can't promise anything. - I answered through thoughts.
Fuck the books, you never used them when you were in trouble, and you always got out. For example, I heard that you almost killed Michael at the Postaquam, and you didn't need a book to know what happens if you tear yourself away from me back in Seattle. - He was right but healing was a whole another level. And for the change, I would have liked to know what I was doing.
"Let's head back to the main building." - I said. The wolf jumped beside me, like it was ready to follow me. - "Maybe you're right, and I have to learn how people see me. I'll try to live up to the expectations."
I could see on Haniel's face, that he still had something to say, but I just couldn't bring myself to listen. He didn't know what it was like to be a soul whisperer. It was like being a fricking avatar, but worse.
I hugged my books tightly, as we walked in the dark. I felt uneasy by the fact that I cannot really see... maybe the tortures really did leave a mark on me.
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