Onyx
For a long moment that felt like eternity, Anouck was quiet. Onyx was about to give up, and just leave the guy on the spot, but then he began to speak.
"You want the truth now, but when will you accept it? You won't believe me, you will just grow to hate me even more." - His face was pained as he spoke.
"I have a right to know the truth!" - Onyx shouted.
"Why are you forcing me to hurt you?" - Anouck asked quietly.
"Why do you even care?" - Onyx asked. Rage was rising in her chest with every breath she took. - "You say you fell in love with me, but let's be honest; you don't know me! We never talked.... we never even looked at each other before."
"Onyx, you are wrong on so many levels." - The air was getting colder as they spoke. The sun dived behind the horizon, and the sky grew darer. - "I heard many things about you from the attendants I had to serve before they entered the postaquam against you, I watched every fight, I know your every move."
"Well, aren't you a creep..?" - She rolled her eyes at him - "Anouck, you idealize a picture of a woman... I am not who you think I am."
"Aren't you the daughter of the most famous full fledged demon of all times, Lilith? Aren't you the girl, who suffered from series of tortures, until her father finally took her under his wings? Aren't you the girl, who looked at me with those huge eyes of your in the dungeons, hoping that I would be the one who helps you find the man you loved? Isn't that you?" - Anouck asked.
"You are trying to prove a point, but stating obvious statements won't help your case. What are you even trying to convince me of? We have been talking about the past for hours, but all you succeeded in doing was pissing me off." - Onyx was at the point, where she didn't know if she wanted to kick Anouck between the legs so hard, that he would never be able to reproduce, or she wanted to just walk away, and leave this whole conversation and him behind.
"I am trying to convince you that I am truly sorry." - He said. - "That I don't want you to hate me, even though I know I am asking too much.
Look, I know I don't have a talent with words, and that I hurt you when I killed Melchiorre... but all I want is a chance, to make everything right." - He took a step closer, and this time, Onyx didn't step back. Instead, she slapped him across the face. - "I deserved that." - Anouck said, while holding his face.
Onyx wanted to just cry. She had lost not only Melchiorre, but the belief that he had ever even loved her. And now, there stood this man, who is very creepy... but Onyx felt like he wasn't lying to her. Obviously, that didn't prove anything. She believed that Melchiorre loved her, while he lied for a very long time, and she never noticed... so why should Anouck be different? Why should he tell the truth to Onyx, when he perfectly knows how naive she is?
"You know what?" - Onyx began. Anouck looked down at her, with his bright blue eyes locked with hers. She could almost feel the warmth of his body. - "I am willing to give you a chance as a friend for now... if you can accept that." - She was afraid to propose the idea to this man. She was afraid that he would tell her that it's not enough, that he needs more than that...
"I understand." - Anouck was visibly disappointed, but it was still way more than he had hoped for at the moment. - "So friends.." - His lips formed a charming half smile.
"Yep." - Onyx forced a shy smile on her face.
"For now..." - Anouck looked like he was tasting the words.
"For now." - Onyx repeated. She felt a hot teardrop rolling down on her face. Anouck wiped it off, and hugged her. The sudden physical action surprised Onyx, since she grew up with no love around, and she wasn't really being hugged in the Fairy Castle either.
Everyone always thought that she was a freak, someone best to be ignored, but now, here was this guy, hugging her, while he perfectly knew who she was, and what was her background. For the first time, she felt accepted. Strangely, she didn't felt that stiffness in Anouck's body, when he was hugging her, like Melchiorre did. Anouck wasn't afraid of this. He wanted to hug her... that hurt her for some reason. At the moment, even she couldn't tell why.
Spirit
Sitting in that small cafe, with the book in my hand - I wasn't reading actually - I was staring outside, and wondered if I could still make this right. If I could still reverse the bad I had caused, and turn the pain into numbness somehow.
I remembered that I haven't seen Joel in a while, and decided that since I can't concentrate on the book anyways, I might as well visit him. He tended to be more wise than anyone gave him credit for. Maybe he could help me out, and maybe I get some strange whispering from the old folks about a way to heal him.
I stood up, and said good bye to Bat.
"I hope you come back soon. I would love to hear more about your past." - She said with a wide smile. I couldn't tell if she was smiling to freak everyone out, or she was just not aware of the fact that I was basically shitting myself in fear every time she smiled, because even though I knew she was nice, I didn't know if she was a vicious beast at other times, ripping people's throats out because she liked the taste of fresh blood... I know I was a little bit overreacting this, but c'mon.
"Okay." - I lied. I didn't want to come back here to talk to her about who I was, not just because even I didn't know, but because she and I weren't exactly friends. I mean, yeah, she was nice and all, but just no.
I left the cafe, and pulled the blanket-like cape-coat tighter. The wind began to blow, and the crisp cold was sneaking under my clothes. I was shivering by the time I got back to the castle gates. The gate's men stopped me, and told me to identify myself. I pulled off my hood, so they could see my face. That's all I had.
"My name is Spirit Princeps, daughter of Ambriel Princeps, lady sibling of Iris, Ariel, and Cassiel Princeps." - To be honest, I wasn't into fancy talk, but when in Rome, do as the Romans, right?
The gate's men opened the gate, and I walked into the inner garden. If just saying my name was enough, then anyone could get in here, can't they? I mean what if some girl heard what my name was, and who my relatives were, and just tried to enter in a couple days? Would they let her in as well? That thought scared me a little bit.
I pushed the oak front door open, and ran into a tall figure. He wore his gear, with his hood on his head, but I still figured out who he was immediately.
He smiled at me, but I put my hands in the air, as a sign that I already have enough shit to handle, and I am not ready for this.
"Nope, nope, nopidy-nope, nope." - I said, and started to walk away, but he grabbed my wrist.
"Hey, what's wrong?" - He asked me. - "Aren't you happy to see me?"
No one else was in the hallways, so we could talk like we wanted. But I still felt very vary. Anyone could appear at any minute.
"What's wrong? Yeah, because using me, and then sacrificing your own cousin is totally fine, and I am supposed to be waiting for you with my arms wide open." - I said. Rider suddenly let go of my hand, like I burnt him. I wish I had, because then, he would feel a small fragment of my pain that he had caused.
He just stared at me for a moment, then opened his mouth, then closed it again.
"Let's go somewhere safer, where we can talk." - He said finally.
"Oh, I would love to hear your excuse." - I said, as I began to walk towards the staircase, where my room was. He followed me without another word, and didn't speak again until my room door shut behind us.
"I didn't want this." - He began.
"Seems like that's all you guys can come up with as an excuse. Guess what, I had enough with your lies. You wanted it, because you saw me as an instrument of your little games." - I told him. I have thought about what Morgen had said, that I actually didn't even try to pull the power card on him.
By the way he reacted of me confronting him about the whole thing was more than enough for me to know that Morgen had said the truth.
"Do you really believe that?" - He asked me. His face reflected pain. Damn, he was a good actor.
"Why shouldn't I?" - I threw my book on the bed, and took of my cape. - "Looking back, I don't even know how could I be so blind to believe that you might actually love me. I left the institute partly because I didn't want to hurt you, and I didn't want you to end up dead, like my mom." - The memory made me twitch, which must have looked like I have already lost my mind. I was actually very very close.
If my only problem would have been that Rider lied to me, then yeah I would be just fine, but I had Joel hoping that I had an answer for him, a way to heal his unknown sickness, which I did not have, I had a mad sister running around, probably killing people, I had a father, who refused to talk to me after I brought Joel back to life by giving him my blood, and there were the strange lords and such coming and going in the castle, I never felt safe.
"That was different." - He said, and took his coat off. His golden hair floated around his head, with a golden spark. He didn't deny what I accused him of. He really did use me in a way that I never imagined he ever would. I kind of thought that he would just stop loving me after a while, and just go off with some new girl he met somewhere... but I never thought that the whole thing we had (affair, most likely, since I wouldn't call that a relationship) was just a show he put up for the consilium.
"Yes, that was different, because at that relationship, both of the people felt the same way about each other." - I burst out.
"You think I didn't love you?" - He asked. - "At one point, I considered giving up the whole thing for you!"
"But you didn't! And what was all this good for? You thought you get what you want, and then walk out, like nothing had happened? If that's what you call love, then you do not know... you do not have the slightest clue about what love really is." - I have never felt so hurt in my life. The torture felt like a mosquito bite compared to this. I wanted to scram, to push him, to slap him... to hurt him like he hurt me.
But I held back.
"Remember, we had this kind of conversation back in the LA institute in my room... pretty long time ago, right? If I recall correctly, you said you never put your heart on the line before. Your heart was untouched before me, just like your body was." - He cupped my face in his rough hands with a gentle touch. - "You really don't know what love is, you only had me to feel it... who knows, maybe I created an ideal lover for you, but that is not what reality is..." - That sweet smile on his face looked like it was made bitter by poison. - "But maybe I didn't pretend.... maybe I did feel the way I told you I did."
"Can you just stop lying to me?" - With every word that left his lips, it felt like he put salt on my cuts. My voice was shaking, and tears choked my throat. It was a real miracle that I still had tears left.
"Maybe I got what I wanted..." - He began. - "But I gained so much more during the process. I felt your naive feelings for me, that trust you should have never given me... and that trust I never deserved. But that was what I needed to realize how I really felt about you."
"You never called, never even sent a message with Morgen about that you were alive, Rider." - I hardened my shattered, broken heart, and decided to just shake off those sweet words that deep inside I wanted to hear. But by now I could feel darkness pouring from his stone heart that I thought was beating for me somewhere in the past. I gripped his wrists with my shaking hands. - "I can't trust you anymore, no matter what you do." - I stepped back, and let his hands go.
"Please don't do this." - He took a step towards me, but I backed away.
"Don't do what?" - I spread my arms wide. - "Don't stand up for myself? Don't act for my own benefit for the first fucking time? What do you want from me, Rider? You already had my soul, my heart, my body, what else could you possibly want from me? I have nothing left!" - The words came out a little bit louder than I wanted them to. He took a step closer, but I pushed him back where he was.
"Spirit..." - He reached for my hand, but I pulled away.
"Just tell me what you want, and leave." - I didn't look at him. I couldn't. Even the sight of him felt like a dagger was pressed through my heart.
"I want you... I wan't to be with you." - He said. I couldn't help, but laugh.
"You really got nerves, don't you?" - I rolled my eyes, and looked at him. It hurt. He took a step closer, held my arms by my side, and kissed me force fully. I couldn't move.
Fear flushed through my body, when his hand reached under my top. With my free hand, I tried to push him away, but he was holding onto my left shoulder like a titanium clasp. His hand was cold on my skin as it wandered up and down on my bare back. Fear pounded in my veins, and I felt vulnerable in his arms.
When I realized that, I also came to realize that I was tired of this. I was tired of mourning my beloved ones, and my broken heart. I was tired of crying. I was tired of being a helpless little girl, who runs to hide behind other people. I was tired of being afraid all the time.
I was a Grigori, which meant I was a warrior, who acted the way that mostly benefited her. That meant that I was fearless, that I was dauntless, that I was audacious. That meant that I didn't belong anywhere, but people still came to work with me, because I was a strong creature, one of the most powerful nephilims alive today.
Even though I didn't deserve this title, I had it.
I was also the Nephilim Princess, a Soul Whisperer... I was way more than just a scared girl.
But what good could that do when I was overpowered by a strong fallen angel, who wanted to take advantage of my weaknesses? A lot.
Memories of the past raced across my vision as he tried to take my top off. Back then I would have let him without any question. But now something inside of me began to pulse. I whispered words I didn't knew the meaning of, they just came from within, and my free hand began to blaze with golden flames, like the ones that surrounded my coffee. But these were way more powerful, and I pushed my hand against his chest right above his heart.
Rider flew back, but his tight grip left a bruise on my left arm, his teeth left a cut on my lower lip, and his nails left scratches on my back, as he tried to hold onto me before the power pushed him away. But these bruises didn't hurt. I was numb.
Rider got up, and sip blood on the ground. By now, both of my hands were flaming with the golden flares, and the power that belonged to Marcus - Rider's cousin, who died in his place - were shielding me.
Don't let him get you too. I heard the whisper inside my head. The voice was unknown, but I could guess that it belonged to Marcus.
I let my power flow out, but kept the strings inside, so I wouldn't get connected to Rider again... ever. The flames began to burn with an insane roar.
"Spirit, calm down. I know you don't want to kill me.." - He said. At that moment, the door behind him flew open, and Morgen appeared with a group of guards. The guards immediately manacled him, and pulled out of the room. I let the flames die in my palm, and dropped on the couch. My heart was still beating fast, but I was safe now.
I didn't know what was I thinking. Did I really want to kill Rider? Or what did I intend to do?
Morgen came up to me, and sat down beside me. - "You okay?"
"How did you know that I was in trouble?" - I asked.
"I heard you shout." - He said. - "And I knew that Rider was somewhere in the castle already. I am sorry, I wanted you two to meet when I was around too."
"Thanks, but that wouldn't have changed anything at all. We would have end up fighting no matter who was around." - I pulled on my shoulder.
"Did he hurt you?" - Morgen asked, and touched a cut on my cheek that I didn't realize that I had.
"Just my self-respect, really." - I smirked. I didn't know how did I have the strength to do such thing. - "I can't believe I dated such an asshole." - I grabbed the feather necklace that he had given me, when I was a child, and ripped it off.
"Glad to see your reaction..." - Morgen laughed. - "I was kind of afraid that you would break down."
"I am already over that. Now comes the part when I wanna break his face." - To that, he laughed. - "That reminds me, what are they doing with him?" - I asked, remembering that the guardsmen took him away.
"They take him to the dungeons, and do what Ambriel commands from now on." - Morgen said, and began to play with the zipper of his gear.
"Aren't you sad?" - The question just broke out of me - "I mean you guys are best friends, or what..."
"More of an 'or what' since he became so self-centered in the past couple of years. You should have met him, when he was with Adriel. He was a really nice guy... I don't know what had happened when Adriel left him, but he just lost it." - Morgen chewed on his lower lip. - "But I know him well enough to know that he will get out of the dungeons somehow way before they could harm him."
"Should we let that happen?" - I knew it was a stupid question, but still I just had to ask. Morgen smirked as he looked at me. His sky-blue eyes shone with amusement.
"No." - He said, and the smile slowly faded from his lips. - "But we will anyway, because even though he is an awful being, we still love him to a certain point."
"True." - I had to admit. I didn't want my father to torture him, nor wanted him to die. I wanted to whoop his ass for what he had done to me, but that was about it. - "You are a good friend, Morgen."
"To you, or to him?" - He asked, not looking at me.
"Both." - I put my hand on his shoulder, and stood up.
"That reminds me... Your Lord Father told me to tell you that he summons you in the consilium hall in about an hour from now. Be ready, because the whole consilium will be present, not just the Sub. Even the Angels will be here, and the new Head of the Consilium, Razziel, and her cousins, Xephiel and our beloved Remiel."
"Ugh, I hoped that I can avoid seeing his ugly face for the rest of my life..." - I confessed. - "Am I supposed to dress up, and all?" - Morgen smiled, and a tiny green flare lit on his fingertip.
"Yes, and maybe hide your scars as well." - He touched my lip, and warmth burned the cut that Rider had left.
He healed my arm, and the small cut on my face as well. When he asked me, if I had any other wounds that should be healed, I bit my freshly healed lower lip, and pulled off my top. I could see his eyes widen. I turned around, and when he saw the scratch on my back, he cussed. When I looked at my top, I understood why... the wounds bled through the fabric, which was a proof that the wounds were deeper than I thought at the first place.
Morgen told me to lay down on my bed, because this will take more than just a few minutes. So I did as I was told. When the healing flames touched the wounds, I cried out in pain. The skin sizzled, and the flesh burnt. After about twenty minutes of this healing process, I almost fainted... but then it was over, and the pain was gone.
"Thanks.." - I said as I pulled my top over my head.
"Yeah, no problem." - He nodded, but his face was white.
"Are you okay?" - I asked.
"How could he scratch you that deep? You need claws to cause such a wound..." - He said.
"I don't know."
"That was different." - He said, and took his coat off. His golden hair floated around his head, with a golden spark. He didn't deny what I accused him of. He really did use me in a way that I never imagined he ever would. I kind of thought that he would just stop loving me after a while, and just go off with some new girl he met somewhere... but I never thought that the whole thing we had (affair, most likely, since I wouldn't call that a relationship) was just a show he put up for the consilium.
"Yes, that was different, because at that relationship, both of the people felt the same way about each other." - I burst out.
"You think I didn't love you?" - He asked. - "At one point, I considered giving up the whole thing for you!"
"But you didn't! And what was all this good for? You thought you get what you want, and then walk out, like nothing had happened? If that's what you call love, then you do not know... you do not have the slightest clue about what love really is." - I have never felt so hurt in my life. The torture felt like a mosquito bite compared to this. I wanted to scram, to push him, to slap him... to hurt him like he hurt me.
But I held back.
"Remember, we had this kind of conversation back in the LA institute in my room... pretty long time ago, right? If I recall correctly, you said you never put your heart on the line before. Your heart was untouched before me, just like your body was." - He cupped my face in his rough hands with a gentle touch. - "You really don't know what love is, you only had me to feel it... who knows, maybe I created an ideal lover for you, but that is not what reality is..." - That sweet smile on his face looked like it was made bitter by poison. - "But maybe I didn't pretend.... maybe I did feel the way I told you I did."
"Can you just stop lying to me?" - With every word that left his lips, it felt like he put salt on my cuts. My voice was shaking, and tears choked my throat. It was a real miracle that I still had tears left.
"Maybe I got what I wanted..." - He began. - "But I gained so much more during the process. I felt your naive feelings for me, that trust you should have never given me... and that trust I never deserved. But that was what I needed to realize how I really felt about you."
"You never called, never even sent a message with Morgen about that you were alive, Rider." - I hardened my shattered, broken heart, and decided to just shake off those sweet words that deep inside I wanted to hear. But by now I could feel darkness pouring from his stone heart that I thought was beating for me somewhere in the past. I gripped his wrists with my shaking hands. - "I can't trust you anymore, no matter what you do." - I stepped back, and let his hands go.
"Please don't do this." - He took a step towards me, but I backed away.
"Don't do what?" - I spread my arms wide. - "Don't stand up for myself? Don't act for my own benefit for the first fucking time? What do you want from me, Rider? You already had my soul, my heart, my body, what else could you possibly want from me? I have nothing left!" - The words came out a little bit louder than I wanted them to. He took a step closer, but I pushed him back where he was.
"Spirit..." - He reached for my hand, but I pulled away.
"Just tell me what you want, and leave." - I didn't look at him. I couldn't. Even the sight of him felt like a dagger was pressed through my heart.
"I want you... I wan't to be with you." - He said. I couldn't help, but laugh.
"You really got nerves, don't you?" - I rolled my eyes, and looked at him. It hurt. He took a step closer, held my arms by my side, and kissed me force fully. I couldn't move.
Fear flushed through my body, when his hand reached under my top. With my free hand, I tried to push him away, but he was holding onto my left shoulder like a titanium clasp. His hand was cold on my skin as it wandered up and down on my bare back. Fear pounded in my veins, and I felt vulnerable in his arms.
When I realized that, I also came to realize that I was tired of this. I was tired of mourning my beloved ones, and my broken heart. I was tired of crying. I was tired of being a helpless little girl, who runs to hide behind other people. I was tired of being afraid all the time.
I was a Grigori, which meant I was a warrior, who acted the way that mostly benefited her. That meant that I was fearless, that I was dauntless, that I was audacious. That meant that I didn't belong anywhere, but people still came to work with me, because I was a strong creature, one of the most powerful nephilims alive today.
Even though I didn't deserve this title, I had it.
I was also the Nephilim Princess, a Soul Whisperer... I was way more than just a scared girl.
But what good could that do when I was overpowered by a strong fallen angel, who wanted to take advantage of my weaknesses? A lot.
Memories of the past raced across my vision as he tried to take my top off. Back then I would have let him without any question. But now something inside of me began to pulse. I whispered words I didn't knew the meaning of, they just came from within, and my free hand began to blaze with golden flames, like the ones that surrounded my coffee. But these were way more powerful, and I pushed my hand against his chest right above his heart.
Rider flew back, but his tight grip left a bruise on my left arm, his teeth left a cut on my lower lip, and his nails left scratches on my back, as he tried to hold onto me before the power pushed him away. But these bruises didn't hurt. I was numb.
Rider got up, and sip blood on the ground. By now, both of my hands were flaming with the golden flares, and the power that belonged to Marcus - Rider's cousin, who died in his place - were shielding me.
Don't let him get you too. I heard the whisper inside my head. The voice was unknown, but I could guess that it belonged to Marcus.
I let my power flow out, but kept the strings inside, so I wouldn't get connected to Rider again... ever. The flames began to burn with an insane roar.
"Spirit, calm down. I know you don't want to kill me.." - He said. At that moment, the door behind him flew open, and Morgen appeared with a group of guards. The guards immediately manacled him, and pulled out of the room. I let the flames die in my palm, and dropped on the couch. My heart was still beating fast, but I was safe now.
I didn't know what was I thinking. Did I really want to kill Rider? Or what did I intend to do?
Morgen came up to me, and sat down beside me. - "You okay?"
"How did you know that I was in trouble?" - I asked.
"I heard you shout." - He said. - "And I knew that Rider was somewhere in the castle already. I am sorry, I wanted you two to meet when I was around too."
"Thanks, but that wouldn't have changed anything at all. We would have end up fighting no matter who was around." - I pulled on my shoulder.
"Did he hurt you?" - Morgen asked, and touched a cut on my cheek that I didn't realize that I had.
"Just my self-respect, really." - I smirked. I didn't know how did I have the strength to do such thing. - "I can't believe I dated such an asshole." - I grabbed the feather necklace that he had given me, when I was a child, and ripped it off.
"Glad to see your reaction..." - Morgen laughed. - "I was kind of afraid that you would break down."
"I am already over that. Now comes the part when I wanna break his face." - To that, he laughed. - "That reminds me, what are they doing with him?" - I asked, remembering that the guardsmen took him away.
"They take him to the dungeons, and do what Ambriel commands from now on." - Morgen said, and began to play with the zipper of his gear.
"Aren't you sad?" - The question just broke out of me - "I mean you guys are best friends, or what..."
"More of an 'or what' since he became so self-centered in the past couple of years. You should have met him, when he was with Adriel. He was a really nice guy... I don't know what had happened when Adriel left him, but he just lost it." - Morgen chewed on his lower lip. - "But I know him well enough to know that he will get out of the dungeons somehow way before they could harm him."
"Should we let that happen?" - I knew it was a stupid question, but still I just had to ask. Morgen smirked as he looked at me. His sky-blue eyes shone with amusement.
"No." - He said, and the smile slowly faded from his lips. - "But we will anyway, because even though he is an awful being, we still love him to a certain point."
"True." - I had to admit. I didn't want my father to torture him, nor wanted him to die. I wanted to whoop his ass for what he had done to me, but that was about it. - "You are a good friend, Morgen."
"To you, or to him?" - He asked, not looking at me.
"Both." - I put my hand on his shoulder, and stood up.
"That reminds me... Your Lord Father told me to tell you that he summons you in the consilium hall in about an hour from now. Be ready, because the whole consilium will be present, not just the Sub. Even the Angels will be here, and the new Head of the Consilium, Razziel, and her cousins, Xephiel and our beloved Remiel."
"Ugh, I hoped that I can avoid seeing his ugly face for the rest of my life..." - I confessed. - "Am I supposed to dress up, and all?" - Morgen smiled, and a tiny green flare lit on his fingertip.
"Yes, and maybe hide your scars as well." - He touched my lip, and warmth burned the cut that Rider had left.
He healed my arm, and the small cut on my face as well. When he asked me, if I had any other wounds that should be healed, I bit my freshly healed lower lip, and pulled off my top. I could see his eyes widen. I turned around, and when he saw the scratch on my back, he cussed. When I looked at my top, I understood why... the wounds bled through the fabric, which was a proof that the wounds were deeper than I thought at the first place.
Morgen told me to lay down on my bed, because this will take more than just a few minutes. So I did as I was told. When the healing flames touched the wounds, I cried out in pain. The skin sizzled, and the flesh burnt. After about twenty minutes of this healing process, I almost fainted... but then it was over, and the pain was gone.
"Thanks.." - I said as I pulled my top over my head.
"Yeah, no problem." - He nodded, but his face was white.
"Are you okay?" - I asked.
"How could he scratch you that deep? You need claws to cause such a wound..." - He said.
"I don't know."
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