I am Your Angel

"Guilt is perhaps the worst companion 

of Death."

            -Coco Chanel                                 

I left Remiel's room, just to bump into that guy from before. He was the one eating apple back in the hallway. I felt a little stupid for forgetting his name, but seemed like he didn't bother to even look at me. he just walked past me. I don't know if I am relieved or frustrated by his ignorance.
At least he is not predicting my death. That's good, right?!
But I couldn't help, but wonder... what is he? I mean is he some half blood, like me? Or an angel? I couldn't see him as a fallen angel. I mean he was just so... bright. His skin, his eyes... even his movements were as graceful as a dancer's.
He disappeared at the staircase, and I sighed. I guess that remains as a mystery for now.

I walked back to the hallway, and I found a boy sitting at the bottom of the stairs, cleaning... throwing knives. Okay, so I live among people who have special powers, and know how to use throwing knives... or at lest know how to clean them. No biggie... you hear me, Spirit?! No time for freaking out even more right now...
After I convinced myself that this guy wont hurt me - Remiel said I was one of them after all - I walked up to the guy with a big smile on my face. It was one of the smiles I had perfected for scary costumers, when I worked in the Diner.  Play it cool.

"Hey! Have you seen..."

"No." - He cut me off, and glared at me with the most piercing eyes I have ever seen. His black hair was unnaturally shining, and his arms were covered with tattoos, just like Flame's. His eyes were coal black, and and cold as ice. I instantly backed off an started to walk away.

Okay, so he is not exactly the nicest person in the house. I sighed. How am I supposed to find Iris? Or maybe I shouldn't on the second thought. She should have some time for her own. I mean, we only had each other for so long, and now we finally can socialize with people in our age. That was supposed to be good, right?

So where am I supposed to go now?
Another sigh left my lips, and I began wandering around in the hallways. They were white with all kind of angelic paintings. I guess it's understandable... then, I got to a floor, where the painting changed, and showed Greek gods...

"No way.." -I whispered. I supposed I shouldn't be surprised that they existed as well as creatures like angels. I mean how much different they can be from the other supernatural freaks?
I examined one of the murals, and realized that the man painted on the picture looked exactly like Mr. I-wanna-kill-you from the hallway before.
I backed away. Nope nope nope. This was just too freaky.
I turned around to leave, but I bumped right into someone.

"Oh, I am so sorry." -I backed away from the person - who did not even moved an inch from the bump - and the blood in my veins froze as I looked up, and saw him. - "I-I-I... I was just leaving...D-don't mind me!" - I let out a little nervous laugh, and basically ran away.

Phew, that was a close one - I thought - For a second, I thought he is gonna kill me right not the spot. 
I mean, he had the ability, right? Oh, well... he let me run away so I guess we will eventually get along.

I ran down the hallway, up the stairs, not daring to look back, or stop. I passed several people, who looked at me with strange looks, but I didn't care. I wanted to put as much distance between me and that creep as it was possible inside one house.
Finally, I got to a hallway, which was painted yellow, and the murals showed ordinary people, like me. Except... they had halos. Well... unless saints are present in this house as well, this must be the Nephilim hall. I began reading the name tags on the doors, but soon enough I realized that something strange was going on. Every door had a black ribbon tied to the door knob.

"What is this..?" - I asked myself. For my surprise, I actually got an answer.

"Currently, we don't have other half-bloods in our mansion than Iris and you. These people died a heroic death." - Remiel touched a black ribbon three doors from where I stood. - "Olga Avilov. She was a brave one. Olga was the last half-blood before you guys arrived."

"Is it... usual for half-bloods to die off so quickly?" - The question slipped out from my mouth. I actually didn't want to ask it. I didn't want to know. Remiel smiled at me.

"These people were well trained warriors. But we often lose people in combat, regardless of what species they belong to. They can be half-bloods, hell-lights, repented demons, warlocks, vampires, werewolves, fallen ones, or forest spirits... it doesn't matter." - I already knew what warlocks, vampires, werewolves, half-bloods, and fallen ones were..I could also guess what repented demons were, even though I didn't really like the idea of living among those.. but what the hell were hell lights?  And forest spirits? Are they like... wisps, like the little guys in Brave? Gosh... this is too much for one day.. Seeing my expression, Remiel laughed. - "Don't make that face at me. I know it's hard for you, but you'll understand soon."

"What are hell-lights and forest spirits?" - My curiosity won, and I couldn't hold my question back.

"Hell-lights are half something, and half demon. Like for example, Darren, however he is a very rare piece; he is half angel, half demon, plus, he is in complete balance between the dark and light... and then, there is Flame, who is the daughter of Lucifer. You have surely heard that name before." - I nodded with a frightened expression... okay, I have never been religious, but this was still freaky. I am sorry, I really am... I know I overuse this word lately, but I cannot find a better explanation for the happenings around me. - "So, she is the daughter of him, and a human woman. That mixture is way more popular. Demons often leave their seeds in humans, because unlike Flame, those kids are most likely to serve the demons eventually. But if we are talking about this, I must tell you that even half-bloods, like yourself might become servants of dark. The phrase that describes them from the Second Book of Enoch is the following : 'the Grigori, who with their prince Satanail rejected the Lord of light.' They are called Slavonic Enoch. So know this: You might be influenced by our views on this right now, but you have a choice. You can remain on the celestial side, or choose the demonic way. But choose quickly. I am not here to waste my time on a person, who will betray our beliefs and leave us. I can't let you remain with us, if you choose the demonic side."

Way to put me in a difficult situation. I like to make my choices considering everything I know. I have never been religious, and now was not the time to start. But all I knew was demons were bad. They killed all these half-bloods, and who knows who else. Most likely, I will be killed just like them. But I still had a backbone. As I looked at Remiel, I knew I want to be a celestial. I knew that this was right. Maybe my father will eventually believe that I am who I say I am, and come for me. If I choose to be a Slavonic Enoch, I could kiss good bye to my dreams and hopes.
Being evil was never a choice for me. I have always pitied people, who didn't seek justice, and choose to be robbers, killers, and torturers. So why would I doubt my beliefs now?
I want to be good.

"It was never a question, Remiel." - I smiled. - "I am my father's daughter, whoever that might be... but he is an angel, and I am who I am. I will be a strong Grigori, and I want to be one on this side."

A smile spread across his lips.

"Well said, Spirit. From now on, you shall be called Spirit Evangeline Princeps. You deserve to be called by your father's last name."

I felt warmth spread across my chest. I have never felt such feeling. It was like I was happy, and proud, but I felt beloved, and I felt like I really belong... That was a first. Seems like today was the strangest day of my life, but also the very best.
I think I should have been more frightened than I actually was, but I saw the life from a whole another perspective, like everything became way more brighter that it used to be.

"Oh, and by the way, this will be your room from now on." -He pointed at a door, which had no black ribbon on it. At least not yet... and i sure hoped that it won't have any ribbon on it any time soon. - "Please keep in mind that even though we are allies, some of us have a lack of self control. So please note that the vampire hallway is off limits, and so is the werewolf hallway. You may enter the hell-light hallway, it's not forbidden, but I don't recommend it. Fallen hallways are always open for you, and if you need anything, please come, and tell me what you seek. Also, you better know that the Forest Spirit hallways may look abandoned, and all dirty, and so on, but please, don't touch anything. Especially not the plants. Of course, if you become friends with one of them, they sure, do as you like, but since you are so new to this world, I wouldn't recommend it either." - So I live among allies, who wanna kill me. Isn't that the cutest thing...? *cough cough* sarcasm.

"What about that Greek hallway?" - I asked.

"Ahh, they are three-fourth angels, often mistaken by demigods. They are pretty strong, but I wouldn't recommend that hall either. Just stay in this and the main hallways. You can tell which hallway you are in by just a look of it, so it shall be pretty simple." - He cleared his throat. - "I hope you'll find your place soon. Your training will begin tomorrow at six a.m. I sure hope that you don't mind that when it came to deciding who shall train you, I choose Morgen."

"Who is Morgen?" - Please don't be the dark, creepy throwing knife freak! I prayed silently.

"He is an Evangelion. You know, one of the guys who get mixed up with demigods? He has tattoos, and black hair..?" - His description basically covered the guy I feared the most in the whole house. Damn.

"Ehh... he is... not really... found of me." - I admitted. Remiel laughed.

"No, I think he is actually very found of you. He requested to take over your training from Rider." - Well, that would explain why would he predict my death in one week. Now it all makes sense. That bastard!

"Can't we just switch me back to train with Rider...?" - I asked.

"No." - That was one simple answer. Cold, but simple.

"Well... thanks for everything." - I smiled at him, and opened my door.

My room was simple. White walls, a desk, a bed, closet, a bathroom... the only luxury in it was its size and the couch. Well, I guess I just enjoy this as long as I can... If I think back of the past 12 hours... no, the past 6 hours... maybe even less than that... but well, if I think back, I just have to laugh... this nonsense about angels and demons makes me very uncomfortable, and then I didn't mention the werewolves and vampires yet. There is no way they are real, right? There shouldn't be.... Why shouldn't they be real? My consciousness asked...

Well, I am officially going mad. I am talking to myself. Sweet Lord.

I walked to the bathroom to fix my makeup, because I was pretty sure after sprinting through the hallways, it just kind of melted off my face.
As I looked at my reflection, I saw a whole another person, than I was used to. My face was pale, and my eyes were open so wide, like I just saw a ghost... well, at least I haven't seen one of those yet. I doubt I could sleep knowing that there is some kind of spirit might be watching me.... spirit....me..?
Yes, I was going mad.
Please, let this be a dream.

Pictures of my mother's face flashed into my vision, as she saved me and Iris, and immediately got ready to face whatever came... she knew she will die, I could see it on her face, but the determination to fight until her last breath was also clear in her eyes.
I wanted to be like her. I wanted to be strong enough to make selflessness decisions that would serve the ones I love the most.
My father's shocked face, as he tried to fight off those men, as he tried to save the family he had... and the knowledge that he has already lost it. Why did it had to happen? Why did it have to be my family?

I felt tears roll down my cheeks. I wiped off angrily the embarrassing signs of my desire for the past, for a normal life, and my weakness.
I tucked on the top of my sneakers to make sure they were well tied, and hurried out my room, without an exact direction. I just needed to move. I needed to run away from my thoughts, like I always did. My feet led me down the stairs, and ran into a tall person with blonde hair... no, golden hair floating around his cheeks. I swear that was not normal, it looked like he was under water. But I recognized those kind of aquamarine eyes.

"You are Rider, right?" - I asked. He smirked.

"Yeah. Whatcha want?"

"Just checking" - I shook my head - "I wanna memorize every name as fast as possible." - His smirk grew wider, and he pushed me against the wall, holding both of my arms above my head. It felt extremely seducing and scary at the same time. I didn't know what to do. Rider  was so strong, and his grip trapped my hands. I felt my cheeks flush with embarrassment for the unexpected lust that rushed through my body. He closed the distance between us, and leaned forward. For a moment I thought he will kiss me, but his lips passed by, and went straight to my ears. My heart beat so fast, I was sure he could feel it. Well, this is awkward.

"Am I that easy to forget, little Eva?" - He whispered. The words froze on my lips. I wanted to answer, but I was over-rushed by the sudden memories I never even knew I had at the first place.

***

I was standing at the edge of my room, gripping my pink bunny tightly, crying aloud. Front of me, a monster was growling, and clicking its tongue at me. Saliva dripped from its mouth. My heart was racing, and I couldn't help it, but I cried out.

"Angel, where are you?" - I sniffed, and just then, a boy's face appeared front of me. He wrapped his hands around me, and lifted me up. He wasn't that much older than me, maybe 12, or so, but he was already so much taller.... with a graceful movement, he swung a dagger at the creature, and it disappeared. I was gripping his soft, white, wool shirt, and quietly sobbed into his chest.

"It's okay now, little Eva. I am here now." - He whispered, and stroked my hair gently. - "I will always protect you, no matter where you go."

I looked up at him, and his face was so gentle... I cuddled up in his hold, feeling safe. He put me down on my bed, and stroked my hair. His wings fluttered as he moved. His feathers were so white, it looked almost like they were glowing. His golden hair floated around his head like a halo. The angel put a necklace around my neck.

"This will protect you from every harm. It's one of my feathers." - A medallion on the necklace was a feather carved out of metal, but it did glow a little like his wings. I gripped it in my baby-hand-like fist.

"Please, tell me your name." - I asked.

"My name is Raguel. But please, call me Rider." - He answered after a little pause.

"Well, Rider... please, don't ever leave me." - I sniffed, still unable to speak right with my tears choking me. 

"I promise you." - He kissed the top of my head, and I believed him. 

That was a mistake. Even though I never saw another creature like that disgusting thing that almost ate me, but Rider never showed up ever again. I waited, and sometimes I called out to him, hoping that he would come for me again... but he never did.

As the years passed, I began to think that I only dreamed that boy. The only thing that I held onto was the necklace, but eventually, I began to think that I maybe just forgot how I got the necklace, and I just had a strange dream about it.

Then, slowly, I began to forget about him. Everyday problems took over his place. I did see golden strings of hair, or a pair of wings... but by then, I didn't even know what they meant. Later, even the dreams had stopped... and I forgot all about my angel.

***

It wasn't like the time Remiel forced his memories on me. These were memories I had, and they broke to the surface. 

I was breathing fast, feeling shocked. I looked up at the pair of aquamarine eyes, and I felt a sort of guilt. I knew him, and he knew me. 

"I waited for you." - The words suddenly slipped out from my mouth before I could even stop them. Like he was hit by electricity, he let go of my arms, and backed off. His face went blank, not allowing even one little emotion to leak out.

"Well, too bad." - He turned around, and began to walk away. How cruel... he force me to remember of everything I had forgotten, made me feel guilty, and then he just shakes off everything. I wanted to call after him, I wanted him to explain to me what was going on... but I couldn't. I suddenly felt tired, and slid to the ground, gripping the necklace he had given me so long ago... the necklace that had been my lucky charm, that I never took off. It was a piece of him that I carried with me. I wish I could know why did he never showed up ever again.

I sat at the hallway, silently mourning my normal life, and my sanity, when my sister came along the corridor. I was still gripping the necklace, but I was sure I looked like I got beaten up. In some ways, I did felt like I actually was beaten... Remiel had beaten my illusions of a normal life, and a normal future. I had beaten myself with being sour about the past, thinking of all the what ifs... and then there was Rider, who had beaten me with my own memories, my own guilt, and his own words, and carelessness. 

"Holy crap, Spirit. You alright?" - She asked. I felt a fresh bottle of tears getting ready to overflow.... I tried to swallow back everything; the tears, the sorrow, the what ifs... everything.

"I don't know. I don't even know what I am anymore." - I whispered. She sat down by me at the hallway. - "Why didn't you tell me sooner?"

She looked at me confused.  - "There is a lot of things that I couldn't tell you because of your own safety. But I am not really sure which secret do you mean exactly..."

"I mean everything." - I smirked bitterly. - "That we are half-bloods, that our father was still there, searching for us, that you knew a place where we could live better than we did in Santa Fe, and that I had a guardian angel that was just about a half day drive away from me."

"So you already figured out about Rider, huh?" - She seemed distant. - "Did he tell you why he had to leave?"

"What do you mean 'he had to leave'"

"Rider is not a guardian anymore. He had fallen from the heavens, banished from hell, cursed to be an immortal on the earth among humans. He didn't do much to deserve such a pain... he just loved. Damn, he wasn't even old enough to know what love was... but he got the punishment anyway. He was actually banned from seeing you as well, but God had given us free will, and by tearing off his wings, he became a Fallen One, with no less freedom than any of us. I knew him at the time, he often wandered around our house, never daring to come closer... then, eventually, he came a fewer times, fewer by each week, until he disappeared for good. I was worried about him, since his back was still bleeding, but I guess he found his way to a better place. I know because a letter came from him one day that he was here, and that one day he hopes that you will understand why this had to happen and you forgive his foolish actions." - She sighed, - "I couldn't tell him that you don't even remember him... I couldn't bring myself to shatter that boy's belief... he was so vulnerable."

"Why can't angels love? I mean dad was an angel." - I asked.

"Dad is an angel. He got his own punishment for his love as well as Rider did. But that is a whole another level, since he is a noble, while Rider is just a guardian." - Iris took a deep breath. - "Rider is just out of that league, however, I think it would've been worse if they sent someone to execute you as his punishment..."

"Why would they execute me? He doesn't care! You should've seen his face... he was so distant." 

"You were the object of his love, and they always take away what you love to most to make you obedient... but they have so many guardians, one less wouldn't matter to them, so they just tore off his wings instead." - She sighed. A flash of glowingly white wings fluttered across my memory. 

"So I caused this to happen to him?" - I asked, feeling my body tremble as my guilt spread across my body like deathly venom. I just wanted to go after Rider and apologize.  He indeed made an awful mistake loving me. I am a deathly curse to everyone who loves me... mom, my dad... and such a burden to others, like my sister. Plus, it was understandable now that he was so cold towards me. He must hate me now... that would explain why he was predicting my death.. maybe I would better off be dead, because then I couldn't cause any more trouble.

I gripped the necklace even tighter, it was cutting my palm. I couldn't hold back, and I began to cry. Quietly, but the tears flowed like the Columbia River after six moths of rain. 

I felt Iris' warm arms wrap around me, and I melted into her hug, leaning against her thin shoulders. 

"I am so sorry..." - I cried. She stroked my head, and I could feel our bond between us, like she was trying to calm me by sending calm feelings across that bond. I gratefully accepted her warmth, waiting for my tears to dry up. 

Enlightenment

"In the end we all are just searching for truth which is greater than ourselves."

-Dan Brown         

How can I describe our little 12 hour road trip to Los Angeles? Well, it's 848 miles, and the same view for long hours... all it is is desert. The speakers sing One Headlight from the Wallflowers, and Jacob Dylan's husky voice fills the dry, hot air.  It sounds like a terribly boring trip, but for me, it was something that I remember as one of the best memories I have.
My feet up on the dashboard, my fingers drumming on the plastic windowpane as I slowly hum along with Jacob.   The sun burned my skin, but damn, it tasted like freedom! It was amazing. I was leaning back, letting my sister take care of everything. I trusted her with my life, and now that I din't have work, we had money, and we were driving towards a chance for a better life, I felt calm.

"So where are we going to live exactly?" - I asked. Iris chuckled.

"I have some friends in LA, and they own a pretty damn big place, so they let us rent two rooms. The price is cheap, the area is nice... I feel lucky that they like my guts." - Her smile was wide, and I could sense that she was as calm and happy as I was.

"Anyone in my age?" - I asked, hoping for some company, and making friends. For a long time, it was just me and Iris, and I was ready to meet other people.

"More or less. I don't know everyone in the house, but the ones I know are around my age... however, now that you mention it, I am pretty sure there are people in your age. If I am correct, Darren moved in with his friend not too long ago. They grew up together, and the guy is about 19." - Well, I was hoping for some bestie material, like a girl I get to know, and then we could like... idk, talk about everything... stuff that besties do.

"That sounds cool." - I said, and took a sip from my water bottle. The water had warmed up in this heat, but it was still much better than nothing. - "And so, what is this place? Like an orphanage for young adults or somethin'?"

"No... This is where... uh... I can't really explain this to you, but when we get there, you'll get it." - She smiled, but she moved around in her seat uncomfortably.

"Please don't tell me you are bringing me to live among a bunch of insane people!" - I looked at her from above of my glasses.

"Of course not... they are just unique. I got to know them when we were little. Mom would always bring me to that house to play with the others while she gossips with the other parents. The owner of the mansion eventually closed it, and then it was opened again. Now the resident of the place made a rule of the people who move in must be older than 16, but younger than 30. So, he formed kind of a community, where the old buds reunite." - She laughed. However this all sounded very unusual for me. Why would anyone do that?

"Something sounds fishy about this, sis." - I noted, and took another sip of water.

"Oh, c'mon! It will be fun, you'll see. Plus..." - She held a dramatic pause here - "There is a school inside the mansion. You can go back to school, and you can finish your studies!"

My heart skipped a beat. I was so happy, I can't even describe it with words. I felt happiness bubble in my stomach.

"Really?! I mean is it ok? Shouldn't I be working to help you out?"

"Nah, we have money for a very long time since the room rent will be hella cheep, and we sold everything. Really, don't worry about it." - She slowed down, and turned at the gas station to pump some gas into the car.

The trip was long, but since we left at dawn, we arrived around 6pm at the mansion. It was truly huge. The enormous iron gates slowly began to open as we approached it. The driveway was long, about 300 feet, and there was a parking lot at the left side. The mansion had a garden with palm trees, and it looked unbelievably beautiful... breathtaking.
Small, red flowers blossomed on the cacti by the road, the fruits on the nearby orange trees were ripe, and the olive trees were on the verge of collapse under the weight of the little black olives.  This place was unbelievable.
I leaned out from the window to have a better view. In the distance, I could see a stall, and some hay... so they had horses as well?!

"C'mon, what kind of drug-baron owns this place? And how the hell did they allow you to rent two rooms cheaply? This place must cost a fortune."

"I told you, mom's friends live here, and my friends, and I hope that they will be your friends as well. Trust me, it was a hard decision for me to make... these people are exceptionally kind, and we are fortunate to be favored by them. They can show you a way of life like you never even imagined it, but you will get to kno that soon enough... maybe sooner than you should. However, you have to promise me that you will learn what they told you to, and you will train, do your best, and become as strong as possible."

"Training? What kind of training? Why?" - I was full of questions. Also, her seriousness scared me.

"Here, physical strength is important. It's like some people don't like if the ones, who rent the house have any pets... here, they like to see their favored ones to be at their best, you know." - She explained as she parked the car. - "I know this will be hard for all of us. I had been thinking about this, and I know I had promised mom to keep you safe, but I don't know where else could we go... This is our best shot. She made me swear that I would never let you into this place, that I would grant that you live an average life..." - Her shoulders shook. Guild washed over me.

"What we had was no average life. You did your best to keep me safe, and I am grateful for all the sacrifices you made for me. But that will end here. I will do my best, and I will grow strong, I promise. I will be independent. This is the place where they welcome us... maybe the only place." - I sighed. - "Maybe I don't understand your reasons, or the people's reasons to let us in... I don't know what you swore to mom... but I know that this is a great chance for you. You can rise, and become whoever you want to. I won't stand in your way anymore." - She reached across the seat, and hugged me tightly.

"Oh, you stupid fuck, you have never stood in the way." - Our little, heart-warming conversation was over when a guy knocked on the window. He was tall, and blonde, very handsome with bright blue eyes. Since Iris was hugging me, she didn't see him, and her body stiffened.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing." - She put on a shining smile, and turned around. I could see her body relax as she saw him.

We both jumped out from the car, and by the time I straightened up, Iris was hugging the guy so tightly, it was embarrassing to watch... like I took a sneak peak on their most private moments. The guy held onto my sister, like she was some kind of treasure. So I turned away, giving them their moment. A girl waved at us from a little further away, so I began walking towards her. If I say she had a dramatic look, I am being very far from how she really looked. She was covered with tattoos, and her hair was dyed in a flaming red color. Her eys were red as well, but for some reason, I didn't think they were contact lenses. She smiled as I got closer, and I am not kidding, she had at least seven piercings in her face.

"Hey, you must be the newest girlie." - She smiled, and reached her hand towards me. I shook it, and smiled back at her. She seemed a bit older than I was, maybe around 22.

"Yeah, you can put it that way. My name is Spirit." -She nodded, like she had already knew that.

"Cool, I'm Flame." - She looked around, then her attention was on me again. - "The guy greeting your sis is Darren."

"Oh, he seems nice." - I looked at them, and saw that they were already walking toward us. - "By the way, I like your piercings. Are they Monroes?" - Her smile widened.

"No, It would be a Monroe, if I had one on this side." - She pointed at one side of her lips. - "I have them on both sides, which is called Angel Bites."

"Wow, that's pretty cool." - I wasn't really into piercings, but I had to admit, they had a cool name.

"Pretty ironic, if you ask me." - Darren smirked as he got closer to us. Now that I had a better look at him, I could sense serious seductive waves radiating from him. His body was almost like it was sculpted by a Greek master, however his face was way more attractive, His eyes were big, and blue, his hair was messy and dirty blonde, and blonde stubble covered his chin. He looked like a typical bad boy from orange county, but he was still something different... I couldn't put my finger on it, but he was strange somehow. - "Believe me, she is a devil."

"Hah, look who is talking, mutt-boy." - She made a face at him, and I didn't bother even trying to understand it. I booked it as an inside joke, and just let it go.

"Oh, you mist be Spirit, Iris' sis. My name is Darren."

"My pleasure." - I nodded. He raised his eyebrow at me, like I've said something weird. - "What?"

"Nah..." - He shook his head. - "You just said the exact same thing as your sister when we met."

"You still remember that?" - Iris laughed, and playfully hit his shoulder.

"I got a pretty damn good memory." - He smiled.

We walked in the house, and I was overwhelmed by the view once more. It was like a dream. White marble, angel statues, and blue walls. The air was cool, and it smelled like snow. How strange... You could see up to the 4th floor from here, and it had a glass roof above us, which let in an enormous amount of sunlight.
Suddenly a guy appeared on the top of the closest staircase, and he was slicing bits of apple off, and put them into his mouth. Just like Darren, he was blonde, and I could see some facial resemblance between them.. could that he be some brother to Darren..? This guy however was in loose, black training shorts, and he was barefoot, shirtless. His body was perfectly sculpted, like a Holsiter model. It made me stare at him even though I really tried not to. He walked to us, and his muscles moved under his skin with every move. I mean it; it was very hard not to drool over him... I mean metaphorically of course.

"Hey, Rider! Meet the newlings." - Flame called to him. Rider let out a sarcastic chuckle.

"Why would I? They will die off eventually, like every newling so far." - He arrived, and stood by flame. He pointed at me. - "Especially this one. If you'd ask me, I guess she will last about a week."

Okay, so if I wasn't freaked out by this place already, then I would freak now... but since I already was, I felt pure panic rising inside my chest. He was saying that I will die... soon... very soon.
Flame punched Rider in the shoulder.

"No, she won't. She is my sister." - Iris turned to him.

"So what?" - He laughed. For him, it clearly didn't mean a thing. I didn't know if it was supposed to, but I felt very left out.

"What the hell are you talking about?! Why would I die?" - I asked, since I got enough of their conversation. Every eye turned towards my direction. But only for a couple seconds. Then, Darren's eyes widened.

"She doesn't know, does she?" - He asked.

"Seems like it." - Rider said, then added - "Okay, I change my bet, she gets one week."

"Shut the hell up! You are frightening her!!" - Iris wrapped her hands around me, and protectively held me close. - "Yes, I haven't told her, because I wanted her to have a good life.. a normal life."

"She wouldn't have a normal life... ever. You know that your kind basically is like a trouble-magnet. It's almost a miracle that she had lasted that long, if you ask me." - Darren said. I was trembling in Iris' hands. What the fucking hell are they talking about. I am so confused.

"Spirit, look at me, honey." - Flame called me. I looked towards her. - "Can you sense what I am?"

"What are you talking about?!" - I whispered, not feeling a thing. What was I supposed to feel. - "Are you guys playing a prank on me? Because this is not funny." - I said. Flame looked at me worriedly. Rider's eyes reflected pity.

"I take her to Remiel. He'll fill in the gaps." - Darren offered, but I held onto Iris so tightly, she told him off, and began walking with me towards the staircase.

The room she lead me into was small, had royal-blue walls, and the window looked like it was made of ice crystals. Every furniture was white, and had silver decoration. Behind the desk, a tall man sat, with his hands under his chin as he leaned forward. He looked about 26. His hair was white, so was his eyebrows, and for my biggest surprise, even his eyelashes were white. His skin was like the brightest marble, and his eyes were light blue. He looked at us with fascination in his eyes. His clothes were a simple white shirt, unbuttoned down to his chest, and marble crack- like scars showed on his chest, a pair of black pants, and he had light brown shoes on. On his ringers, there were rings that are made of three pieces, and cover your whole finger. His rings ended in claws. But as I looked closer, I could see white glows under the rings.

"Welcome. I can see she begins to realize..." - He said with a thin, cruel smile on his lips.

"No, they just scared her... especially Rider." - Iris was talking instead of me.

"Oh, don't accuse them of being the cause of her enlightenment. You did this to her. They had no idea she doesn't know about who she really is." - He sighed, and took off his rings, then his gloves as well. - "Bring her here... Seriously, Iris. You should've enlightened her sooner... If I were you, I would've told her right after her guardian had fallen."

Iris tried to push me towards him, but I resisted.

"Please, sis, stop it! Don't play any more jokes on me! Why are you doing this? Did I hurt you? Do you ry to make fun of me? Why?" - I asked, and I felt tears rolling down my cheeks. She hugged me.

"No, don't cry... You will understand everything, I promise. This is not a prank... Please, go to Remiel. He'll help you." - I swallowed, and turned towards Remiel, and let out a small scream, because he was standing right in front of me. I have never even heard him move. I grabbed Iris' hand, but she wriggled out of my hold. I wanted to reach after her, but she was gone. The next thing I knew was that Remiel reached towards me, and cupped my face in his hands. His touch felt like I was struck by lightning. I heard myself scream, but it was like hearing someone else's scream.
His touch devoured me, and I was falling inside darkness. Am I gonna die? I asked myself. Suddenly, I was falling toward the ground with deadly speed. Cool fire surrounded my body. I closed my eyes, and then I heard my body hit the ground with an enormous blast. I didn't have to wait for the unbearable pain for too long, but somehow, I was still in one piece. I struggled up to my feet, and raised my hands to see the damage on them. Those were not my hands... those were the hands of a man. I looked at my body, but it wasn't my body at all.
But the sudden pain in my back drove my attention to the people standing behind me. They grabbed my wings (?!) and with one single strike, they tore them off. I let out a cry, but the voice wasn't mine either. A sudden voice appeared.

"No, these are my memories, not yours." - The picture whirled around once, and now I saw the scene from the other side. It was Remiel. He was colored in blood, his hands uselessly hanging beside his torso as he was kneeling on the meadow. Around him the grass was burning with cool, blue flames. I froze for a moment, but then I ran towards him. I wanted to help, but as I got closer, and tried to touch him, my fingers simply slipped through his body. - "These are just memories. You can't change them." - The voice appeared.

"What? I am so confused!" - I cried, trying desperately to grab Remiel. Tears rolled down on my cheeks, as I realized that no matter how hard I try, I just cannot help him. - "What had happened to you! Remiel!" - Yes, I was freaking out major time, but there was still a wounded person in front of me.

"Stop it. I am showing you this, because you have to know what we are." - The voice said, and with that, the picture changed. Everything was white. It was endless, like glowing fog. Front of me, Remiel stood, unwounded in his white shirt and black pants.

"Are you an angel?" - I shook my head. There is no way I would believe in that crap.

"Yes, and no. I am a Fallen One. Not the same." - He said. - "You are a half angel. Nephilim, Grigori, or call it whatever you want to." - That made me laugh.

"Okay, now I am very curious what kind of drugs did you make me swallow to make me have this vision." - As a response to that, he rolled his eyes.

"Hate to break it to you, but this is reality." - The smile froze on my lips. - "You have to understand. This is a whole another word. There are a lot of human beings out there who do not know about our existence...  Including you. Listen, Spirit. You have to realize that this part of the world had been hidden from you, but will be revealed soon. You can be part of it. I will not force you... but you have to know that if you choose to continue your previous life, I can't grant your safety."

"Uh-huh, not forcing, or anything, you are just telling me I will die if I leave." - I rolled my eyes.

"Not necessarily."

"But most likely." - I finished his sentence. He nodded. - "Well, make me believe that this is real. Because right now, I feel like I am having a very bad nightmare."

"Well, alright."

The picture changed, and front of me were children running around. Small, blonde kids. One was a taller guy, and he had a crystal in his hands. The little girl beside him cried something about him being unfair for taking it.

"I meant to give it to Spirit! You are so mean, Cassiel!!" - She cried. I took a step closer. Was that Iris?! The guy, called Cassiel gave it back to her, and she hurried inside the house to a taller woman. - "Mommy, mommy! Isn't it pretty! I thing this would be perfect for her."

A tall man with sky colored eyes stood behind the woman, holding a baby. He gave the baby to the woman, and she handed the little kid the crystal. The baby put it in her mouth, then took it out, and giggled in a bubbly voice. The man smiled, and gave a woman a kiss. The boy returned with another boy... they looked exactly alike. Twins huh... The sight gripped my heart with the fists of sorrow. So that's how it used to be... My family...

The crystal elevated from the baby's hands, like she could use magic.

"Look, she is good at this!" - The man smiled. His almost white hair was long, he reminded me of Legolas from Lord of the Rings. How odd.

"See that man?" - Remiel emerged beside me. Now that I think about it, he reminds me of something too... something like a Final Fantasy character... well, never mind.. -"He is a noble angel, a prince. Ambriel Princeps. Currently the leader of the consilium, and my dear friend. Also, he is your father."

"I don't care." - I blurted out. This must be just an awful dream. - "This man is dead to me. He abandoned my sister, my mother, and me. Tell me Remiel, do you think it's fair that he, however never abandoned my brothers? Do you think its fine to leave his family behind, and let his wife die? How's that he is allowed to do such terrible things, while everyone else just sits back, and watches as we struggle just to survive with Iris." - I felt anger surfacing. Remiel remained silent. - "What he did was unforgivable -"

A loud knock on the door cut me off. Well, it was rather a bang than a knock. Two men stepped inside, without any invitation. The whole family became alert. Suddenly, five more men entered the door. Two grabbed Ambriel - my father - and two grabbed each of my brothers. They dragged them out, while Ambriel tried to escape their grip, uselessly. One of the three remaining men reached for the baby, but before he could catch her, the woman touched the crystal, and the two girls vanished.

"You bitch!" - The man yelled, and slapped her so hard, she fell on the ground.

"No! Stop!" - I cried out.

"This is just another memory shard. You cannot change the past." - Remiel said. I felt myself shake with anger, as I watched those men abuse my mother.

"Who's memory is it?" - rage sprinted through my body. Someone just stood there, and watched the whole thing take place...

"It was a spy. We caught him after the slaughter. They wanted your father and brothers as a hostage, but they did not care for your mother or sister... nor you. However, you mother did a great job. Even I wasn't able to find Iris nor you with my trackers. We really did think you were dead, so after 9 years of search, we gave up." - He sighed. - "Then, a couple months ago, Iris contacted me. I was pretty surprised, I must say."

"What about my father..?" - I asked.

"He doesn't believe me... not after 17 years has passed. He thinks you are just claiming to be his long last daughters."

The picture around us changed, and we were back in the room where everything seemed like it was made of ice. Remiel stood before me, holding his hand on my forehead, his eyes closed. I uncomfortably cleared my throat, and he opened his eyes.

"Do you believe?" - He asked. I felt like laughing.

"Okay, I believe that you are a supernatural weirdo freak, but you need to do more to make me believe in all that angels, fallen angels, half angels, and such crap." - He smiled, and walked back to his desk.

"Now, you'll come around." - He put his gloves back on, and then his rings.

"Why do you need gloves?" - I asked.

"Have you ever seen X-men?" - He asked. I nodded. - "My powers are something like Rouge's. But instead of taking or rather copying powers, I simply enter memories, and drag whoever touches my hands with me. I can control it to a certain point, but not all the way. That's why the gloves."

"Okay, you really are a supernatural weirdo." - He chuckled at my commentary.

"I prefer to be called Fallen, rather than 'supernatural weirdo'."

"So all of the fallen angels can just drag people in and out from their memories?" - That idea kind of freaked me out. Just imagine how awful that would be.

"No. We all have individual powers." -He looked at the papers at his desk. - "Please leave now. I am a busy man you know... It is not easy to govern a house full of 'supernatural weirdos'." - He sighed. - "But don't worry... you are one of us."

"Is that supposed to be a compliment?" - I raised my eyebrows. He smirked.

"You'll get used to it."

A Second of a Mini Heart-attack

The date? Well, why bother... it was just another simple day... just like every day; nothing was better, nothing was different.Except maybe the rain. It rarely rained in Santa Fe, and some people saw it as a blessing, while a whole lot of people looked at is as a curse. Of course, if someone moves here, they usually come to escape every little bit of rain, and unpleasant weather, such as snow... but there was heat, that was unbearable most of the time. I hated the heat, but what was I supposed to do?
I didn't have enough money to move away... hell, I barely had enough money to buy food.

My name is Spirit Evangeline Meadows. I am a 17 years old high school drop-out. I know it sounds bad, but I didn't really have a choice. I lived with my sister in a small house that we had inherited from out mother when she died. Iris, my sister always said that she was a great mother. I couldn't care less; she left us after all. I mean, yes, murder is not exactly her fault... but she wasn't here.
My father left us just after I was born, so I don't even remember him... only his voice, that sometimes occurs in my dreams. He always tells me I am a shame on the name of my family. That, I already know, he doesn't have to rub it in. These are just dreams, I know that, but they are still there.
Iris said we had brothers; twins. Dad took them with him. I found it awfully unfair. What did they have that I didn't?

But it was as simple as that: dad didn't want me, but he did want them, for a reason I couldn't manage to understand one bit.

I worked at a local diner as a waitress. It didn't pay well, the tips were small, and the boss was a perverted asshole. But that was the best job I could find with my abilities. The diner was halfway to downtown from my house. It was a 17 minutes walk.
I felt like that girl from Princess and the Frog, working my ass off for pennies, however I didn't have any big dream I was following... maybe to have a better life, not to worry about the bills, and food, and clothes. That would have been nice. But that was my dream. I have lost hope to become an artist a very long time ago, because we didn't have any money to pay the right schools. I loved studying, and reading... but that worth nothing when it came to everyday needs. Iris was not able to pay for both of us... at least she had finished high school... I was sad I couldn't, but there was nothing I could do.

Iris worked part time as a singer, taking gigs at fancy restaurants, but that rarely came. Most of the time she worked as a maid.
But somehow she was happy living like this. She was concerned that one day Ariel and Cassiel, our big brothers would look for us. I doubt they even remember they had sisters to begin with.... but that was just my opinion.

Only mine...

***

The rain was rhythmically drumming on the windows. I sat on the bar chair of the diner. Today was a calm day. No one came in since I started my shift. That was unusual, since there were at least two people in the diner at all times, asking for coffee refills, working at the back of the diner on their laptops, looking for a little peace. But today the diner was absolutely empty. You might think I was happy that I din't have anything to do, since I have already wiped off al the tables, refilled al the napkin and toothpick holders, but the thing was... no costumer meant no tip. No tip meant no money. No money meant I had nothing to eat that day, and I had no money to buy anything to eat. I felt pathetic. 

My shift was about to end in five minutes. 

"Hey," - Pete, our cook called out. He was an old, chubby man, with a face of a pig, and a heart of an angel. His apron was patched with oil, and who knows what else. He put a plate full of strawberry pancakes front of me. - "Eat up."

"Pete, that's kind of you, but I am behind with the rent... you know I can't afford this." - I said. He shook his head.

"It's on the house today. You did a great job at cleaning, and it really isn't your fault that no one came in." - Pete gave me a fork, and I nodded slowly. 

Well, at least I won't starve... I ate the half of it, and wrapped up the rest to bring it home for Iris. Pete, seeing me doing that, gave me some fruits, and vegetables he cannot use tomorrow, but knew they won't last that long in our fridge. 

Pete was like an uncle to me. He knew me since I was 10, when my sister brought me here after a big gig, when she got a bigger amount of money. That was one of my happiest memories. I was so happy, and even the memory of mom's death left my mind for a little while. 

"Thanks." - I smiled.

"Don't mention it."

"Well, see ya!" - I said, left the restaurant. 

That day I went home with happiness in my heart. I didn't bother about that I got soaked in the rain on my way home. I felt like the rain was washing off the bad memories of the past. I felt like there are good things ahead of me. Maybe not college, or my dream job, but life seemed better. Thanks to the kindness of one person, and I already felt better.

The little house at the end of the road with the tall bushes behind it's fences meant home. It meant that today was over, and I could rest. 

Maybe I didn't live a dream life, but I wasn't having a terrible life; I had roof above my head, and a sister by my side. I know it's not much, close to nothing, actually... but it's still ours.

"I'm home!" - I yelled.

"Hello!!" - She came to the hall - "Whatcha got there?"

"Food." - I smiled. - "For you. I've already eaten."

"Oh, alright. Thanks... by the way, I have great news."

"Please tell."

"I am moving to Los Angeles." - I felt like the time around me slowed down. How was that supposed to be good news?!

"Ar...are...are you leaving..?" - I had troubles with forming the words. I was so shocked. How could she do this to me. I thought we would be there for each other no matter what...

"Yep. I've sold the house, and found a place to live in there. Plus, there are many gigs in LA." - She seemed happy, and she bounced up nd down, like it was some awesome news I was supposed to be happy about. But why would I be happy for her? Why would I?

"You... sold the house?!" - Anger began to take over sock, and I felt like I was on the edge. I wanted to cry.

"Yeah, I mean I needed money. But don't worry, I'm sure the neighbors will be nice in LA."

"But what about me? Where am I supposed to go?" - I asked. She broke out in laughter. I froze. I have never had such an urge to hit my sister. What the hell is so funny?! She was about to leave me! She was about to abandon me! 

"Oh my, oh my, did you really think I would leav you? What kind of sister would I be, if I left my little sister like that, huh? No, darling, you are coming with me." - I felt my body relax at her answer. 

"What about my job?" - I felt bad. I didn't care about my job actually. But I realized that I was clinging into my sister like a five years old child. She was 23, and I was the reason why she couldn't live her life like any normal person of her age. It was me, who held her back, who took away her teen years, because she had to raise me up. Iris had dedicated the years of her youth to be my guardian. And I took it so naturally, so until she mentioned moving, I didn't even considered the opportunity of us being separated, living alone...

I was an awful person. She deserved better life that she could ever have with me.

"I've already fixe everything. Today was your last day, and I bet your paycheck would be in your bag." - I reached into the nylon bag, where I carried the fruits, and leftover food, and vegetables. On the top, there it was: a small, white envelope. I opened it, and almost fell backwards.

"$15,000?!" - What the hell?! I have never got so much money in my life. My usual payment was around $1,100, so this was a pleasent surprise. - "How?"

"I sold the owner a crystal vase that used to be grandma's. It was awfully ugly, if you ask me, but he seemed to like it. He said he'd put the money on your final paycheck, so here we are." - I didn't know we had such things.

"So, we're leaving tomorrow?" - I asked. Her smile was so wide, I swear I saw her wisdom teeth.

And that's how our story began. We both knew that this trip would change our lives forever, but back then, I didn't think it would be such a change that changes my views on life, on our world, on our decisions, on our fate, all that... 

I thought we would just face a better future. I thought we will just live, and eventually die of old age, surrounded by our grandchildren.. I hoped for a happy life. I wanted a happy life... so what I got was surprisingly not what I wanted...