I stared at myself in the mirror from sitting on the bed.
My memories were back, but I still didn't know who I was. I still didn't know what the people expected from me. Was I a leader? Was I a dead weight? No one ever told me what my role was in this chaos.
I sighed, and went to the door. I was afraid to even touch the doorknob.
And finally, I realized what had happened. I realized how much of a dumbass I had been, and how afraid I was. I didn't want to die, I didn't want to be hurt. I was afraid that people would hurt me physically and mentally at the same time.
I dropped on the floor, and just wrapped my hands around myself. I didn't cry; I couldn't. I was just sitting there, hoping that one day it all will end. Hoping that one day I would cope with the whole thing.
The door opened silently, and Rider stepped in into the room. Hatred rose in my chest, but I decided to swallow it. There was no time for this. I had to get to know what was going on.
"Hey darling.." - He greeted me, and helped me stand up. - "Do you feel better?"
"Yeah, I'm alright. I think I am well enough to be moved out from the hospital wing, and start to take part in the everyday life." - Whatever that means I added silently inside my head. Rider's face lit up, and he took my hand. It felt strange to have him hold my hand, fingers braided together, because it seemed like everything was fine, while inside we both knew that something was off. He didn't mention it, because he wanted to show with the daughter of a consilium leader, as sign of the resistance, and I didn't say anything because I wanted to know as much as I can before he realizes that I know everything.
"I am glad that you feel that way. I was actually meaning to ask you to join me as soon as you feel better, but seems like you read my mind." - He smiled, and kissed my forehead. Even though I knew that this was just acting from him, I wanted it be real. I wanted Rider to be mine again... we he was never mine in the first place, but I wanted to feel like he really loves me, even if it was all just a dream.
"Join you? Why, what are you guys doing? And who else is involved?" - I asked.
"We are destroying the consilium. It's time that their empire falls. It's just so flawed, so brutal, so unfair towards everybody. People need a system that treats them the way they deserve to be treated." - Rider said as we walked down the white corridors. The hospital wing smelled of blood, medicines, and death. It was not a welcoming scent at all. I was glad that this awful smell didn't get in my room.
I was surely mad at Rider, and I obviously felt betrayed by him, but I shared his viewpoint about the Consilium, which practiced unlimited powers, treating the people like shit. - "Many of the people you know are involved in the project. Ever since the demons destroyed the Sub-Consilium in Skydown, a lot of members joined us."
"And what do you expect me to do?" - I wasn't sure what could I do for the project to be successful, or if I want it to be successful at all. I wasn't sure how this whole thing worked. The demons are supposed to be part of the Depth-Consilium, so it seemed rather strange to know that they went against my father's Consilium, like a dog biting its own tail.
"Take part in the meetings, give your opinions and ideas. I want you to be that sparking person you used to be. I want you to show them all how powerful you really are." - Enthusiasm glowed in his aquamarine eyes.
"So they will fear me?" - I pulled my hand out of his hold. - "Rider, you are asking me to be like Michael was; to keep people in fear so they will obey us. If we do things like that, we are no better than the consilium right now!" - I said. Hi eyes widened.
"No, you get me wrong, I meant that you should show them how strong you are so they will look up to you, but not in fear. Just like you look up to your sister for being such a strong person." - He said. The mention of my sister tightened my heart.
"I think I am the wrong person for this. You need someone to be by your side with the same intentions as your own." - I looked up at him, and for the first time, I knew what to say, and what to do... and not because of what my ancestors were whispering to me. - "Rider, this is not my life, not the life I want. I am not some symbol. I think it's time for me to take my leave." - I grabbed his hands, and stared into his aquamarine eyes. - "There are things I have to do, and a war is not on my to-do-list right now, nor ever be." - As the words left my lips, I knew I was doing the right thing.
"Are you going to search for Iris?" - He asked, and I could see sadness in his eyes.
"If she would be your sister, you would search for her too, won't you?" - I asked. He nodded. His hands fell out of my grip as I loosened my hold, and I began to turn away, when he suddenly put his hand on my right shoulder.
"There is one thing you should know about the past before you go." - Rider said, then cleared his throat. - "We had sex in Seattle, but that time, you were just a weapon for me, or at least I thought so... up until the news had reached me that you had been captured by the consilium. You will hate me when your memories return, because when you figured it out, I couldn't explain myself. I have never been the master of words, and you know that..." - He sighed, and dug into his golden hair. - "I just want to say sorry. For being a jerk to you then, for not giving you the love that you deserved, for not being able to use the right words, and for the scar on your back. It was all my fault, and I know I fucked it all up." - He rubbed his face his hands, and then looked up at me. Rider's eyes were red, like he was about to cry.
"Why didn't you tell me before?" - I asked, pretending to be unable to remember of the things he was talking about.
"I was afraid. You acted like nothing was wrong, and I was afraid to lose you again, even though I perfectly knew that eventually it will happen, and you will hate me when it happens." - For a long moment, we were just staring into each other's eyes.
"My memories had returned." - I said as I looked away. He was gasping for air, like a fish out of the water. - "I remember everything that had been sealed away, and you are right, I do hate you. I don't understand why do you have to keep on acting once it means nothing for any of us. You already got what you wanted then, so why do you want to keep on hurting me?" - I asked quietly.
"What do you mean it means nothing to any of us? To me it did mean a lot." - He said. - "And it still does."
"Just tell me what do you want from me already." - I sighed. - "I am getting tired of this love-hate relationship that we are in ever since you were on the phone with Morgen. I want to move on, and I think you should too."
"Now you are the one, who is hurting the other." - He said, and hugged himself tightly. The move made him look strangely vulnerable.
"Oh please, you never loved anyone, but Adriel." - I rolled my eyes. The people around us, wandering up and down in the corridor of the hospital-wing began to stare. Rider grabbed my arm, and pulled me into a storage room. The room smelled like dust and piss. It was disgusting to a level, where it was not even funny anymore.
"Why do you keep bringing her into these conversations? I am over her, and I hate her with burning passion for letting me fall alone, and you know that because you have seen that memory." - He said. - "You know more about me, than anyone else, so why are you keep questioning me about my intentions towards you? Isn't it clear? I love you, for fuck's sake! I would move mountains for you, I would turn the heaven into hell... I would do anything for you, but you just don't want to believe me."
"No, Rider." - I began, however, I was still in shock because of hearing him saying that he loves me. It couldn't be true, and I knew I should avoid him, but that confession still made my heart skip a beat. - "I know what you decided to show me, while I thought you couldn't stop me from seeing the memories that you were hiding. There are things I believed in, and I can't go on like this. I can't trust you anymore, no matter what you do. Maybe somewhere in the future you will be able to prove that you really did mean the words you just said, but right now, I wan't us to cool off, have a little time for both of us to think it through. I know you think I am unfair towards your feelings now, but I actually still love you, and that scares me. I am afraid to get hurt, and to trust you again. You were my first, and I will probably love you somewhere deep inside as long as I live, but I can't do this anymore." - I turned away to leave the storage room, but he turned me around, and kissed me. This time, there was no force in it, just a soft kiss, a question braided into a goodbye gesture. A question that if I answer, my heart will be heavy as I leave this place.
That felt like deja vu, since this had happened to me before. Back in Seattle, I knew that if I let him love me then, I will be hurt for the rest of my life. I just didn't imagine it to turn out to be like this. This time, I was smarter, and didn't move a muscle. I didn't push him away, but I didn't kiss him back either.
I was smarter, but not the smartest. I should have pushed him away, but I told the truth: deep inside somewhere I was still in love with him, no matter what I tried to make myself believe. I was lying to myself, so why did I try to make them tell me the truth? People lied to me, because I was naive. Because I love easily. Because I get hurt easily. Because I was too fragile to be strong.
"I am sorry." - he said as our kiss ended. His forehead was leaned against mine, which was quite the achievement, if we consider, that I was almost too short to lean my head on his shoulders. - "I hope one day we can leave this all behind ourselves, and be like we were before you left the flat in Seattle."
"You know that will never happen." - I whispered back, and then stepped away from him, and left the storage room. I hurried down the corridor, not knowing where to go, just wanted to leave as quick as I could.
I was rushing down a hallway, when I bumped into a familiar face.
"Faylinn!" - I gasped.
"Oh, hi!" - She looked me up and down. - "Do you feel better?"
"Yeah. I am just about to leave." - I smiled back.
"Who else is in your team? Because I want to go with you. And I bet Onyx and Anouck would wanna go too!" - She said, and fixed her shirt with a swift move.
"You don't even know where I'm going.." - I said.
"Does it matter?" - She smiled - "Whatever you do, we are with you."
"I am glad to hear it, but that's absurd. You do not know me at all, and you say you would risk your life for me? Seriously, Faylinn, I doubt that you thought this trough." - I could't see why she cares about my business. I wouldn't care about hers if it was the other way around.
"I don't think you thought it through." - She replied, and put her hands on her hips. - "Many of us only came here, because everyone we looked up to died in Skydown. We all came, because you were brought here, and you are one of the Princeps clan, the heir, and we all know that your heart is pure, and that you will lead us to some place better."
"Why do you all want things from me?" - I burst out. - "All I want is to go and find my sister, and if I can, I will to heal her. These are all I want to do. I am not going to lead anyone to some Nirvana... I just want my sister back. That's all."
Faylinn put her hand on my shoulders, and sighed.
"They didn't tell you what had happened at Skydown?" - She said as she opened her large, brown eyes. She reminded me of a fawn. - "The demons slaughtered most of the consilium members that were on Ambriel's side. Many of them... but only the ones that were more faithful to the head of the Sub-Consilium, than they were to the Head-Consilium. My father, Lord Trident, Lord Rufus, and many more. They were killed because the Head-Consilium was afraid that the Sub-Consilium would turn into the Head-Consilium, and they would lose their influence and power. They even killed the new head they just choose, because she went to negotiate with Ambriel about your sister. Just by choosing to be willing to travel to a far away city for a meeting, she had lost the trust of her council, and they turned against her.
You don't know what chaos in on the world right now. We are following you, because of a letter that some of the heirs of the noble families, whose parents were killed that night in Ambriel's room. The letter was about your coronation, which is due three days from today. He wanted to resign to hand you his powers, and he believed that you will be a great head of the Sub-Consilium. Spirit, it's not just about you anymore. It's about all of us, who lost our parents, and inherited a responsibility to give guidance to our kind." - She was close to crying, thinking about her father. I knew, because I was familiar with the feeling. - "Now we are the ones, who have a choice. We sit in the seats where our parents used to, and it's our job to govern our people. You are the Nephilim Princess, and three days from now, you will be the Nephilim Queen. I am the Queen of Fairies. Anouck is the King of the Sea. We all have people we need to protect."
"You grew up as part of this, but I have never been good at being a leader, Faylinn. My sister knows way more, and so do my brothers. Make them heirs, not me." - I complained. Without any warning, Faylinn slapped me across the face.
"You have to stop whining about the things you want. There are needs of others." - She said. And the worst feeling was that she was right. Who was I to complain? It was me, who was never able to do any good to anyone.
I took a deep breath, and bit my lip for a moment as I was digesting what she said about Skydown.
"If the previous head of the Head-Consilium is killed, who is on the throne?" - I asked.
"Jophiel. The son of Michael, last living member of the Cleric clan." - She said. I remembered Jophiel from the meeting. His shaggy blonde hair and clear blue eyes.
"My name is Jophiel Cleric. Son of Michael. I am pleased to meet the Nephilim Princess."
I could almost hear his crisp voice saying these words. Almost.
"How many of us are opposing the Consilium?" - I asked.
"Every member of the Sub-Consilium, Spirit." - She said. I sighed. That meant more than three thousand people were standing at my door, knocking for shelter, and for guidance.
I began thinking it through. I have a large group of magical creatures who are willing to serve me, and I have a boy seeking vengeance for the death of his lord father on my family. He must have know that the demonic mob was coming to attack Skydown, so when he introduced himself, maybe he thought I would die in the sudden attack as well.
"Is there a room for me, where I can change clothes?" - Faylinn nodded, and waved, signing that I should follow her.
She lead me upstairs, and when I looked outside of the windows, a huge gap was there with a deadly drop at the other side of the glass. Burning sunlight radiated a huge amount of heat. - "Where are we?" - I asked as we were hurrying up a staircase.
"We are in Greece, and this is a castle that was built in the mountainside centuries ago. It's the property of the Vowers. It's Rider's territory." - She SMTH-ed, like it was pathetic, but c'mon... he owned a castle. - "This place had been occupied as a mental hospital over the years for people like us, but when Rider had to disappear from the sight of the consilium , he basically killed every patient, who was in the hospital. Poor things never knew what hit them."
"That explains the smell of blood in the wing where I was for weeks." - I said.
"No that was the people escorted here from Skydown. After the surprise attack on the city, many of the people flee wherever they could, but many got wounded. A patrol group that works for Ambriel - and came after you - was sent back into the city to save as many people as they can." - She fished out a key from her pocket, and unlocked the old, wooden door. - "Many of the escorted people died not long after their arrival in the castle."
"How do you know so much about everything?" - I was amazed of how much information she carried in her head. It was a miracle that it was still the size of a normal head.
"I have been attending meetings with the other heirs." - She said, and pulled me inside of the room, and then locked the door behind us. - "Get a gear, and the weapons you need. I'll get dressed too, and then we can go to notify the others about the plan."
There were large boxes stocked upon each other, and each of them contained a piece of clothing. I searched until I found something that was wearable enough for my taste. Soft black breeches and a loose white shirt that had the least ruffles I could find. I pulled on shiny black boots, and fastened them with the weary yellowish copper clasps. I pulled a dark cloak over my shoulders, and fastened it with a same colored copper as the clasps on my boots. It was shaped as an angel's wings. I fastened a scabbard on my hips, and took off a sword from the wall, where there were lines and lines of weapons.
I chose that sword, because two words were carved into the blade: Princeps Iustitiae. Back then, I only chose it, because I saw the name of my clan on the blade, now I know that those words weren't there because the blade belonged to my family, but because the blade belonged to Spiritus Princeps. My ancestor. The Princess of Justice. That's what those words meant. I put it away into the scabbard, and hooked a quiver on the other side of my hips. I filled it with arrows, and picked a bow. It was plain dark brown with a simple black string. Nothing fancy. I pulled on the archer gloves that were folded onto a nice little pile by the bows and arrows.
It became my habit to hide a dagger in my boots, so that's what I did again. When I was finished, I walked back to Faylinn, and she changed into pants too. However her clothes were way more decorated: She wore white breeches, with soft brown leather boots that were decorated with golden amber. She wore a plain cream colored shirt, and the same brown vest as her boots. There was a red velvet colored strip of cloth tightly wrapped around her hips and waist. She had a long-sword in a scabbard, just like me, but on the other side of her hips instead of a quiver, she had a rope. I didn't really understood it at first. Her hands were covered by soft brown leather gloves that left her fingers bare. She draped a cream colored cloak over her shoulders which had the Faerydae sigil on the back in just a shade lighter color than the cloak, but it sparked with gold as the light fell on it. Faylinn pulled her hair back in a tight ponytail, and she had a golden circlet on her head. She really looked like a fairy queen now that I looked at her.
"I want the coronation to take place today." - I said. - "After that, we will move out from this castle. This place belongs to Vower, and I want none of it."
"Where do you suggest we go?" - I could hear a bit of annoyance in her voice. - "This place is almost the safest place for us."
"Almost?" - I asked back.
"Well, there is the fairy kingdom..." - She began, but I cut her off.
"The consilium expects us there." - I said. - "Isn't there a place, protected by spells, half way under the ground, and has it's own guardsmen, so we can leave our people to rest?" - I asked.
"You want a castle that's hidden by land, and spells?" - She asked.
"And we need allies as well. Vower will be a backup plan. I wish to shut him out of this as much as possible. He is not the part of the original consilium." - I said. Names fluttered up and down in my head, as I tried to recall the names of the people I had met at the meeting in Skydown.
Then it came to me. - "Is Xerxes still alive?"
"Yes, but he resigned.." - Faylinn said with a confused expression. - "Why?"
"Is Haniel working with the Head-Consilium?" - I asked. Faylinn got more and more confused, but I was getting really into this. If I wanted to save my sister, I had to do that while I was dealing with this havoc that took over half of our world. The Consilium wants to take over control again, while Rider tries to destroy them.
"He obeys the orders he gets, if that's what you're asking." - She murmured.
"But is he loyal to Jophiel?" - I asked.
"I don't know Haniel that much." - She spread her arms out wide.
"Please, lead me to the other heirs." - I asked her. - "There is a chance that Haniel only obeys, because he has no reason not to. He doesn't care about the business of the consilium as long as he does not ave to clean up it's mess. If they ask him to pick out a herd of demons to burn up a city, that's an easy task. If they tell him to kill a friend... now, he will think twice. Also, he is good friends with the Severio brothers." - I said.
"Darren sits in the Depth-Consilium by Haniel. He took over Rufus' place after his death." - Faylinn said.
"That's actually perfect. We have Joel and Stephen on our side. Both of them are friends with Haniel and me. They are also friends with Rider." - I said as I followed her. Faylinn's long legs covered a larger distance than I thought at first, so I really had to hurry to keep up with her. - "We need someone in the Head-Consilium as well... any ideas?" - I asked.
"Damian." - She said without hesitation. - "And maybe Elise."
"I know Damian, but who is Elise?" - I asked.
"You'll see. Now, I think I get what you are trying to say. The Depth-Consilium is located on Hell-Blossom, and it has an underground part, the cave city. But it sounds suicidal." - Faylinn murmured and she stopped at a door.
"I know, that's why we're gonna ask Joel to negotiate with his older brother, and we keep it secret from the consilium. They would never expect us to hide in their own territory." - I was getting better at thinking with others head while I was trying to shut out the voices from my own... seems like it was a great thing to learn. Faylinn opened the doors, and we walked into a large room with the tables set up exactly the same as it was set up in Skydown. But there was no podium, and no thrones. Every chair was at the same height, and every table was the same.
Rider sat right front of me, wearing a black sweater, and black jeans. His golden hair was floating around him, like he was under water. He sat in a lazy position, resting his head on his right palm as he leaned over the table. Beside him a girl sat with tan skin and creme colored eyes. I immediately recognized Bat. She looked up at me, and nodded. I nodded back.
On Rider's other side the guy sat who questioned me about my sister on the consilium meeting, accusing me of being weak. I took a deep breath. I looked around, but all I saw was tired faces. Anouck was there, Onyx, Stephen and Joel, and many other faces that I did not recognize.
"Can I help you, Lady Princeps?" - Rider asked in a cold tone.
"I came here, because I want to inform my friends that I will set off soon to Hell-Blossom. First, I have to negotiate with Haniel and Darren, but my main goal will be to find a way to keep our existence as a secret in a city where we will not be searched." - I said. - "We need a hideout until we figure out a way to destroy the head consilium. Any of the present people want to come with me?" - I asked. I didn't want to force anyone into this. It was their choice, and they needed to choose between the Rebels and the Sub-Consilium. I know that our main goal was about the same: wipe out the Head-Consilium, and replace them with a group that would treat people like they deserved to be treated.
"I am with you." - Joel said after a small pause. - "Sorry Rider, but I think it's better that way."
"I'm going too." - The man said who told me I was weak. His ash colored skin seemed paler than ever. The fact that he was second to stand up for me was one of the biggest surprises of the day. After him, the people stood up one after another.
In just a matter of seconds, only Rider remained seated.
"So, are you taking all my men?" - Rider asked.
 |
| Nikolai Aswang |
"They are not your men." - I rolled my eyes. - "These are free people. Nobody is forcing them. They have a free will, you know. They have feelings, and hopes. Next time you should consider that."
My last two sentences made him twitch a little.
"I offer my castle to stay at until we have a result from Haniel." - Said the ash colored fellow.
"I am so sorry, my lord, but could you tell me your name?" - I asked. Now that I looked closely, he was dressed in a weird, furry top... what...
"I am Nikolai Aswang." - He said. - "My castle is in Romania. I am the great great grandson of Dracula. You must have heard of the old man." - At that moment, he smiled wickedly. His fangs showed for a moment, and cold chill ran down on my spine. But at the next moment, he covered them with his lips.Vampires..
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